


Seeing the Other Side

by GreenPhoenix3



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Barnum Family, Circus Family, F/M, Family Feels, Fate & Destiny, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-03-16 17:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13640829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix3/pseuds/GreenPhoenix3
Summary: Phillip said he would be disowned, he knew he would be disowned, but when it actually happens it hits him like a ton of bricks. He loses everything that makes the Carlyle name: dignity, connections, and money. Fear and misunderstandings drive him to pull away from everyone. Can fate and his family show him the truth before it is too late? Unbeta (Sorry for the grammar mistakes)





	1. Prologue: The One I Was Meant Find

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Blatant Racist actions and remarks!

**1876**

“Come on Annelise.” A dark skinned woman pulled a little girl, about 5 years old, with light brown wild curls by the hand. “You good Wilbur?” The dark skinned woman looked at a young boy, about 10, with the same dark shade and tight short hair. He was carrying two bags, one in each hand.

“I’m good, momma.” Huffed Wilbur. Dogs began barking loudly and the three runaways froze to look back. Shouting was heard as lights came on. The woman gasped and pulled Annelise.

“Come on.”  The woman ran with Annelise, practically dragging her. Annelise didn’t complain, she just tried to go faster. They heard branches breaking around them, the barking seeming to get closer. Soon they reached a tall iron gate. The woman’s eyes widen, but Annelise saw an oak tree.

“Momma, we fly over.” Annelise pulled the woman to the tree. The woman kissed the top of Annelise’s wild curls.

“That’s my girl! Can you throw the bags over Wilbur?” Wilbur threw the bags over at the woman’s request. They landed a little to the side of the branches that hung over the gate. “That’s my hunk of a man!” A gunshot echoed through the air, making them all jump.

“I’m gonna getcha you filthy negro!” A loud angry yell followed the gunshot, and the woman tightened her hold on Annelise’s hand.

“Momma,” Annelise cried. The woman looked at her. Annelise was trembling and her eyes were watery. The woman got to Annelise’s eye level.

“It’s gonna be okay Anne. We fly over the gate and we’re free. Now climb.” Annelise nodded and climbed the tree. In a blink, Annelise was halfway up the tree. “W.D. you’re next.” Wilbur nodded and followed Annelise. He wasn’t as fast as Annelise, but Annelise waited so he could catch up. The woman followed once her son was halfway up. As she neared the tree, dogs came from the bushes.

“Momma!” The children cried from within the branches. The woman ran faster, pumping her arms. She jumped and began climbing. The dogs followed, and one grabbed her ankle. The woman screamed to block out her children’s scream.

“There they are!” A voice yelled closely. The woman grunted as she kicked the dog and continued to climb. She was halfway up when a tall man in red suspenders, with a thick straight mustache and a shotgun came through the bushes.

“Swing and hide.” The woman ordered the children. They turned and grabbed some branches. A bullet whizzed behind the woman.

“No point in runnin’ now, negro! I could shot you or the kids!” The man yelled. The woman ignored him.

“Go!” She whispered to the kids. They nodded. The woman quickly took off her bloody shoe and threw it the man at the exact moment her kids jumped. The man shot his gun, hitting some of the treenext to the woman. The woman yelped as closed her eyes. She leaned away from the blast but she was still scarred when the tree splintered from the shot. The man cursed and began to reload. The woman continued climbing. She made it to where her kids are. Another shot whizzed through the branches. The woman and her children jumped. The woman peered through the branches. The man was aiming his gun again, a smirk on his lips.

“You got nowhere to go negro. Come on out you,” the man didn’t get to finish because two little shoes hit his face. The woman turned to see Annelise barefoot and gasping. The woman smiled and taking a risk, she grabbed her kids hands and jumped down. They landed on the other side of the fence and ran, forgetting the bags. The man’s raging yell and curses echoed in the open space. Another shot rang, but none of them felt it. The man let out another string of curses, that grew quieter as they ran.

“Don’t stop.” The woman ordered, and neither child did. They all kept running. The woman felt guilty, she knew that the owner might come after them. That they would probably have to run for their freedom but they were free and her children might, just might have a future. She looked at Wilbur, he was panting heavily and she could see that he did get scratched from the tree on his arms. Then she took a glance at Annelise. Her feet were bleeding badly and her face was red. Despite the obvious pain that both of the children were in, they kept running, making the woman’s heart heavy with guilt and pride. She put her hands out for her children to take and each one took one. The woman let out a breath of relief when she saw the carriage by the street, a short lady with dark black hair standing by it. They ran to the lady, her light blue eyes wide.

“Oh my! I did not expect so much action, Miss Wheeler.” The black haired lady said with a French accent.

“Told ya it was bad.” The woman panted, but she didn’t let go of Wilbur or Annelise’s hand.

“Well all the more reason to hurry. Come along now children, in the carriage.” The lady spoke elegantly. The footmen opened the door at the lady’s flick of her wrist. The children glanced at the carriage and then to the woman.

“You’re not comin’ momma?” Annelise asked softly. The woman sighed and squatted to face her children.

“No hun, I’m not. So I expect you two to take good care of each other, okay?” They nodded, their eyes watery. The woman let out a shuddery breath. “Wilbur Dwight Thomas Wheeler,” The woman gazed at her son and caressed his cheek. Wilbur stood tall, his face a rock of determination. The woman smiled softly. “Promise me that you’ll protect your sister, and remember that you’re strong enough to catch any dream you have.” Wilbur nodded.

“I promise.” He said loudly. The woman smiled and kissed the top of his forehead. Then she turned to Annelise. Annelise’s eyes were watery but she sniffed back her tears. The woman let out another shuddering breath to stop her own.

“Now you, Annelise Marie Wheeler, promise me that you will take care of your brother, and always fly. Do not let anything chain you to the ground. Be free my angel. Promise me.” The woman insisted.

“I will momma. I will always fly.” Annelise stated passionately. The woman let out a tear as she kissed Annelise’s forehead. She looked back at both of the children.

“And if you keep those promises, I promise that I will find you again. God willing.” The children nodded and ran to her. The woman wrapped her arms around the children. The stood there for a few minutes, before she felt a tap on her shoulder. The lady was standing next to her.

“I am sorry, but it is time.” She said solemnly. The woman nodded. With one last kiss on each of their foreheads, the woman let go of her kids.

“Go. This lady will teach you how to fly.” The kids nodded. Wilbur was first and walked to the carriage slowly. He gave a glare to the footman, who didn’t react, before going in. Annelise soon followed, but she looked back at the woman. She gave a subtle wave, before entering the carriage. The woman waved back, tears spilling from her eyes.

“Miss Wheeler.” The woman turned to look down at the lady. “I have seen many parents pay me to teach their children. But none have paid me their whole life savings.” The woman quirked her eyebrow at the straight faced lady. “It is, inspiring.” The lady said in a wistful tone. “Therefore, here is something for you.” The lady took out an envelope and handed it to the woman. The woman took it cautiously. “There is one ticket to New York, money for clothes, a letter, and directions. Go see a man, John Carlyle. He will have a job for you. I wish you all the best.” The lady left with a nod and glided inside the carriage. With a snap of the whip, it was off. The woman watched it go, until she saw it no more. The woman let her tears flow freely as she turned towards the station. It was a long walk and she got their, barely before the mid-afternoon train. She steeled herself for the stares as she entered the station. The stares never stopped, nor did the whispers. The woman didn’t care, she simply stared out the window. It was a day’s ride to New York. The town was bigger and louder than the North Carolina countryside. The woman was frightened, but she fisted her hands and went to get herself some new clothes. It was sunset when she found herself in front of a white intimidating mansion upstate, in a new simple black gown. She had to turn her head just to get the whole view of the house. That’s when she noticed a boy with a pair of pretty and kind light blue eyes gazing at her through the lower window to the far right. The woman looked back and gave a wave. A blush came to the boy’s face as he disappeared behind the white lace curtain. The woman chuckled and face the house with a new confidence. She walked up the steps and knocked on the shiny marble door. The door opened and she was face to face with a middle age man in black tailcoats and gold accents everywhere. The woman immediately put her head down.

“Excuse me sir, my name is Sue Wheeler and-”

“Adalie sent you.” The man stated with a sneer. The woman nodded and held out the letter she found in the envelope. The man snatched it from her and read it.

“John, who is it?” A lady in a dark blue gown and a white faux fur cover came next to the man. The woman’s eyes widened a bit, before disgust settled in them.

“It seems that this is the, help, that Adalie sent.” The man scowled.

“I see.” The lady said slowly. “Well, it came just in time. Let’s go darling.” The woman grabbed the man’s arm and patted it. “We mustn’t be late to your own production.” The lady said with a smile. The man laughed and began leading her out the house.

“Yes that is a good point.” The man walked past the dark skinned woman not sparing a glance. “He will be in bed when we get home.” The man ordered over his shoulder before he got into the carriage and left. The woman gazed after it with wide eyes.

“Don’t worry.” The woman jumped. She turned around to see the same blue eyed boy staring at her. The woman could see that the boy had light brown hair and was short but she could tell in his face that he was around her boy’s age. “That means you have the job. I’m Phillip, your charge.” Phillip said with a  charming uneven smile as he held out his hand. The woman stared at him, a smile forming.

“Sue, the new help, it seems.” The woman and Phillip chuckled.

“I’ll show you around!” Phillip said, excitement sparkling in his eyes as he lead her into the house.


	2. Chapter 1: Disgraced And Disowned

**Philip’s POV-**

He knew this was coming. He told everyone that it probably already happened, but here it was, physical proof that he Phillip Carlyle, was no longer a Carlyle.

 

_ To Whom it May Concern: _

_ As of October 18, 1888, Phillip Carlyle is hereby disowned and removed from the family line of the Carlyle family. For his continuing disgraceful and immoral acts, he is hereby removed and banned from any connections, any inheritance, and any other property in the Carlyle name. If anyone hears of a man using the title of Phillip Carlyle, please inform the authorities. _

_ Thank you: _

_ John Carlyle, Head of the Carlyle family. _

 

Phillip licked his dry lips. He should be happy, he was free of the Carlyle name, so why wasn’t he. He wasn’t sad. The memories of things he drowns out with the flask on his hip ensured that. He was just hollow and wondering which was worse. That his parents had sent him a copy of the declaration of his disownment, or that they had also sent a letter. Phillip hadn’t even read it because the declaration’s bold dark lettering screamed to him.

“Phillip.” Phillip jumped a bit at the soft touch on his arm. He automatically knew who it was, before he turned to see her beautiful face. Standing behind him, concern furrowing her dark perfectly shaped brows, was Anne. She was still in her training garb, her wild long curls cascaded down her back and some had fallen into her face. Her mouth was settled into a little frown, and Phillip had to resist the urge to caress her lips into a smile. “Everythin’ alright? You left with the postman a few minutes ago. Everyone thought he was tryin’ to get you to run with him.” Philip chuckled at her small joke and loved the mischief that sparked in her dark eyes. Everytime she got that spark, it reminded him of the first time they met. Anne was still staring at him, expecting an answer. He opened his mouth to tell her what happened, but he remembered how she liked to focus on the show, and he needed to as well.

“Well, I didn’t even get an offer to run. He gave me the letter from my parents and left before I even got a word in.” Phillip offered with a smirk. The furrow came back on Anne’s brow and it was deeper. Phillip could see the worry in her eyes.

“Your parents.” Anne said softly and Phillip’s heart sank. “What did they say?” She said as she straightened herself. He could see the wall come up in her eyes. He knew she still had doubts and he couldn’t blame her. A few days ago, she was practicing late. Trying to make all the sneers and jeers fly away. Their kiss the show before encouraged someone to say that Phillip was dirtying himself with her, with less classy words. Anne was just tired of it and needed something comfortable, familiar. So she practiced. She had practiced for so long that her feet had began to bleed. Phillip had just finished the paperwork, and thought about walking her home. When he arrived, Anne was wiping her bloody feet furiously, tears in her eyes. Of course Phillip freaked and ran to her, but she pushed him away. She told him that she was worried that he couldn’t take the hate, couldn’t understand how much there would be. How far it would make someone run. Phillip didn’t ask her to explain or expound. He just wiped her feet and kissed them. It made her laugh and he held her. He reminded her how he literally ran through flames for her. It seemed to calm her fears somewhat, but he knew that a part of her would always fear him running.

“They were just begging me to stop and come home. Get my head on straight, all the usual things.” Phillip said flippantly as he stuffed the letter and the declaration in his pocket. He grabbed her hand and turned her back to the tent. “Let’s just focus on the show because that’s the only place I’m going.” He offered with a light tender kiss to her sweet salty lips. That kiss was a miracle to Phillip. He could lose his parents, his money, his dignity, the show, everything, as long as he had her. As long as he could kiss those lips for the rest of his life. He pulled back and opened his eyes slowly. Anne was staring at him, her brows still furrowed. “Anne?” Phillip stared at Anne as he stepped to her, putting his hands on her waist gently. She didn’t move away and Phillip took that as a plus, but she was still staring at him with narrowed eyes. Like she was trying to solve a puzzle.It reminded Phillip of Sue, one of the servants back at his, well the Carlyle’s house. She would look at things that gave her a hard time with the same puzzled expression. Philip reminded himself to see about Sue’s situation after the show. Right then, his priority was Anne.“Anne, what’s wrong?” Phillip started to play with her wild curls. Somehow, it put a smile to her face.

“You really are somethin’ Phillip Carlyle.” She smiled and kissed him, deeply, passionately. Her kiss helped him ignore the twisting in his gut as she said his name. “Now let’s go back before they think you took my womanhood.” Anne smirked as she slipped out of his arms. Philip’s eyes widened as he trotted after Anne.

“They wouldn’t think I did that, would they?” Phillip asked lightly but Anne laughed, a sound Phillip craved to hear. “Anne, they wouldn’t think that, right?” I can’t have W.D. thinking those things!” Phillip ran with a smile, the empty hollow feeling disappearing.


	3. Chapter 2: Cost Me Greatly

The show went off without a hitch. Granted there were protesters, but he had quickly pushed them out and sold the seats to some other customers. It was a success and the people loved it. He was glad to hear how they enjoyed the acts. He loved the children though. Adults, while they enjoy the show, their stares afterward were a bit condescending. But children had this excitement and joy, a joy he wished he had gotten as a child. He turned to see one of the children, a little girl in a wheelchair, beam at Anne.

“You were so pretty and amazing! Like a fairy princess! It must be so amazing to soar like that!” The girl exclaimed. Anne chuckled and bent down to the girl’s level. 

“Well, thank you hun.” Then Anne leaned closer to the girl, that spark in her eye. “And between you and me, I only do well in front of a queen fairy, your highness.” Anne said with a wink. The girl blushed and giggled. Phillip froze as he watched the parents laugh with their little girl.

“Say goodbye Jenny.” The father, a gray haired man with thin glasses and a bird nose, said gently as he began to lead his family away. 

“Bye!” The girl waved at Anne as her mother pushed her away. Phillip watched the family go, smiles on all of their faces. It was obvious that the family was going through hard times, their clothes were dirty and not from the dirt at the Circus. But in that moment they were happy. He wish he could remember a time him and his family wore smiles like that.

“Phillip.” Lettie called and he turned to see the whole group looking at him. “We’re going to the bar. You coming?” Anne was next to W.D., hope in her eyes. Everyone was still in their costumes, smiles on their faces. Phillip should say no. He knew that the Circus was nearing a hard time. Winter was nearing, even the cold fall night was a blatant warning. They would have a hard time doing shows, and smaller audiences. Phineas and him were still trying to figure out where to house the animals and the performers that didn’t have homes. Plus, they needed to save their emergency fund. They already used some of the fund to buy medicine for Leeds, O’Clancy, and Namia. He needed to say no, but they were looking at him with hope and happiness, asking him to join. Mainly because he was paying, but still, they were asking him. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” Everyone cheered as they walked to the bar. The happiness continued even as they entered. The bartender that was there when he first met Phineas, Matty, went straight to him, giving a nod to the others.

“Remember Carlyle.” Phillip held in his flinch as Matty said his name. “No fights or you guys are out. I ain’t haven my place up in smokes.” Philip nodded at Matty’s reminder. He couldn’t talk. Something was stuck in his throat. It was as if he was at one of his father’s, no that wasn’t his father anymore, at John’s parties. He was suffocating. How was it that he was still bound by his old life when he was now declared free? Phillip got rid of the suffocation the only way he knew how. He quickly grabbed a shot and took it, helping whatever was in his throat move down. He only needed one. As he looked out to the bar, he saw why he was okay. Every one of the performers were talking and chatting happily with each other. Phillip almost had a heart attack as Chang, Eng, and Charles were trying to balance on each other. Granted, Phillip thought it was a good idea, especially if they could do it on Charles’ elephant he rode. Phillip would just have to make sure no one was drunk. Phillip felt better that W.D. and Deng were talking to each other and drinking slowly as they watched the three men. Phillip had to remember to talk to Deng about training W.D. in blades. It scared the bejesus out of Phillip, but he saw how W.D. would stare at the blades with interest. Plus, if W.D. was talking to someone, that meant that he was actually gaining a friend. Phillip saw that O’Malley and Constantine talking, something Phillip knew was most likely a prank, as Constantine put on some pants covering his tattooed legs. That’s when Phillip noticed that Anne, who was laughing at something Lettie had said, was still in her costume. Phillip squirmed in his seat as he watched her. Anne was always beautiful. With her long graceful body, smooth tan skin, and big almond dark eyes, she could not, not be beautiful. Yet when she was in costume, she was ethereal. He noticed men’s looks in the crowds, and while part of him was jealous, he mostly worried. Sue, his nanny, told him of men out there that took without asking. Phillip gazed at Anne. Anne always captured his attention because of her beauty, but there was something familiar in her beauty. The passion in her eyes, the tall but never towering stature, the strong but dainty hands. Something about them was familiar. It was on the tip of his tongue. But he lost it when the protesters from earlier came in, with more of them. The happiness froze, as tension filled the air. The man in front, the man that Phillip knew was the leader, sneered at them as he spit. Phillip could tell that the leader was a man who took without asking.

“You servin’ freaks now, Matty?” The ringleader, a dirty man with a red beard and rotten teeth, glared at each person. Phillip moved to Anne’s side when he saw the leader’s gaze linger on Anne a little too long. Phillip gritted his teeth as he saw Anne fist her hands, holding in a fidget. 

“There are only people in this bar sir.” Phillip grounded out. The leader scoffed, his angry blue eyes sizing Phillip up. Phillip didn’t flinch, even as the man laughed loudly, almost manically. 

“Look at this fellas! A pretty rich boy runnin’ with the freaks! Does that make him a fake, or a freak?” He asked them. One, a man that reminded Phillip of a rat, spoke up.

“I think it makes him both, boss! A fake freak!” The whole group laughed loudly now. Phillip could feel the growing rage in the performers. It encouraged him, despite the twisting in his gut and the suffocation in his throat. It went away when Anne grabbed his hand. He took a glance at her, and he almost gasped. There was a fury in her eyes that blazed brightly and made her look like the calm before a storm. Phillip cleared his throat and focused back at the rowdy group.

“If you didn’t come for a drink, you can leave.” Matty ordered sternly. Phillip was glad that Matty was someone who didn’t care about anything but his bar.

“Ah don’t worry Matty we’ll leave.” The ringleader said. Confusion past through the men behind the ringleader. “I just have a question for the fake freak.” The man said as he stepped towards Phillip. Everyone leaned in, and Phillip felt Matty’s stare. Phillip stepped forward, letting go of Anne’s hand still feeling her confidence in him, not afraid of the man. Although he was afraid to lose Matty’s support.

“Ask away.” Phillip said confidently. The leader gave another sneer until he glanced at something behind Phillip. Phillip felt a shiver go up his spine as he saw the malicious smirk form on the man’s face.

“Do you run with the freaks for the action? I’ve seen what that one can do with her legs.” The man nodded to Anne. Phillip fisted his hands. “I bet she can keep them open all night.” Phillip could see it all happen in slow motion. W.D. was pushed forward, always near Anne. Matty going for his gun, and the other men were leaning forward, ready to attack. Philip had a choice to make. Either let a fight happen and risk another fire, or stop it and have everyone hate him, but they would be safe. Safe, and able to dream again. There was no choice. Phillip put his hand out.

“Stop!” He yelled. Everyone stopped eyes on him. “If you are just going to start fights sir, I think it’s best if you leave before Matty has to enforce his ownership.” Phillip offered with a nod to Matty. Matty brought out his gun a bit and everyone calmed down drastically. The leader growled and spat at Phillip’s face. Again, Phillip was proud that he didn’t flinch from the man’s attempt at intimidation.

“Let’s go fellas, we might catch their fleas like this fake freak here. “ There were murmurs of complaints but they did began to leave. Phillip let out a breath of relief. Until the leader stopped and looked back.

“One last question, fake freak? Do you pay the help to keep her legs open or do you order her to?” The man smirked. This time Phillip knew he had to step in front of W.D. and hold him back as the man laughed. 

“STOP!” Phillip yelled with caged fury. W.D. stopped struggling but his eyes were still ablaze. Phillip turned to see the protesters leave. He held in a growl and his hands fisted. He wanted to hit them, to chase after those men and make them pay. But he was held back by someone, their grip on his arm was bruising. He was spun around to see W.D. glowering at him, nostrils flaring.

“How could you let them talk like that about her?” W.D. growled. Phillip glanced at Anne. She was staring at him with watery eyes, demanding an answer.

“I, I, couldn’t let a fight start.” Phillip stuttered, all the confidence and fury from before was lost. This was the wrong answer because W.D. stepped forward angrily, his fisted hands shaking.

“So you rather her look like a tramp, than start a fight?” Phillip’s eyes widened and he trembled when W.D. grabbed his collar, lifting him up off the floor. “You let my sister be dragged in the mud before you!” W.D. whispered angrily. Phillip’s eyes widened and he looked to Anne. She avoided his gaze.

“I, never meant to. I was just trying to keep everyone safe, please understand.” Phillip pleaded. That was definitely the wrong thing to say, because then Lettie stepped in front of Phillip’s view. 

“We can take care of ourselves, Carlyle.” There was that name again. He could never escape it. “We don’t need your protection. And if you don’t have the backbone to stand by us, you can leave too.” Lettie turned back around and began to lead Anne out of the bar.

“Anne,” Phillip gasped. W.D.’s hold tightened but Anne did stop. “I didn’t want him to say those things, I really didn’t. I had no other choice, please understand.” Phillip begged. Anne turned back around, and Philip’s heart broke. The wall was up and her face was blank. 

“Understand this, Mr.Carlyle.” This time Philip did flinch at the name and for some reason he felt like his chest was filled with bricks. “You have your name and your money. That is more than some of us dreamed. We only have our pride. Something you can never understand.” She turned back around fiercely, head held high and Phillip felt as if he had been slapped. W.D. let him go and he crumpled to the ground as he watched Anne leave with Lettie and W.D. by her side. Everyone began walking out behind them, some sparing pitying or angry glances at him. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He lost them. The people he thought were becoming a second family. He lost them. He lost Anne. His miracle, his flying angel, he lost her. He lost them because of his stupid mouth not saying the right words.

“You okay, kid?” Matty asked from behind the bar. Phillip thought about that. Was he okay? He might have lost everything. He was a disgrace to his first family, maybe he always has been, but that was another bottle. Now, he was a coward to the second. What did John always tell him, if something doesn’t work more than once it was broken and needed to be thrown away. Was he broken beyond repair? Could he fix this? The circus didn’t need him. He was a fake freak, something that could be replaced, heck he wasn’t even needed. Lettie said it and there were times he was stuck in his office doing financial stuff that he saw the show still went on. He wasn’t needed. How could he be wanted? “Here, kid.” Phillip looked up at Matty, a numbness setting over him. “On the house.” Matty set out an uncorked bottle of whisky and a glass on the bar. Phillip slowly got up and went to the bottle. He needed to numb everything. He needed to drown, just for a minute. Phillip gulped from the bottle, enjoying the familiar burn that went down his throat. It was cheap and bad, but Phillip could settle. He grabbed some cash out of his pocket and put it onto the bar. He took another gulp as he began to walk out of the bar. As he walked to his small apartment, Phillip gulped down the whiskey. When he got to his apartment he had finished the bar’s bottle and dropped slipping on some paper with red ink. The bottle shattered and the sound of the shatter echoed inside him. Phillip stepped in the glass, wondering if that was how Anne felt on days her feet were acting up.The thought of Anne hurt and Phillip searched for another bottle. He found another bottle of whiskey opened it and began gulping it down. As he gulped an idea came to his head. The whiskey was bad and cheap, but he still needed something that could numb him. He settled for the worst and it still benefited him. If he showed everyone that he could still do his job, that he was still needed somehow, he wouldn’t be broken. He would still be a fake freak, like the cheap whiskey, but maybe, just maybe, they would settle for him.

“I”s fine. I”sfine.” Phillip slurred as he stumbled onto his bed and passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope no one is too OC. Sorry if they are. Comment and kudos, please?


	4. Chapter 3: Everyone's Got An Act

**Anne’s POV**

Anne liked to think of herself as smart and level headed. When her and W.D. were on their own, she would always handle the money and groceries. Unlike what most people thought, she could learn. So, she knew that Phillip was spending way too much money. Another rose, this one a beautiful mix of red bleeding into white, sat by her ropes. Four roses now, four 50 cent flowers for the past four days. Three of which had a note saying sorry. Anne glanced around and her eyebrows lifted. There was no note with this one.

“Another.” W.D. grunted.

“Yeah.” Anne mumbled as she picked up the flower gently. It was beautiful, the dark red seeping into the white but not consuming it. This one was just like the others, but a little more worse for wear. It had frayed petals, a broken leaf, and there was a fragility to it. None of the flowers moved her, but this one, she found herself kissing it gently. “You know what he’s doin’. He pretends like he cares and he’s not scared but he is.” W.D. growled.

“I know.” Anne sighed. She agreed that Phillip didn’t handle his fears well. He either ignored them or ran, but, rethinking about the situation a few days ago, even she couldn’t say what was right.

“Then, all they do is throw money at things as if it makes it right.” W.D. ranted as he began tying the ropes around him. Anne frowned.

“I didn’t see you or Deng complain when you guys were trainin’ with new blades.” Anne retorted roughly. She felt W.D. turn to her.

“We needed those. The girls are trainin’ with us.” W.D. grounded out. Somehow that just made Anne angrier.

“Well what about every time drinks are on the house?”Anne turned to face W.D. He was gazing at her with wide eyes.

“He owes us that.” W.D. responded simply. Anne threw up her hands in frustration.

“Just like he owes us the $1.50 for each night? Or the building for us that don’t got a home?” Anne didn’t know why she was defending Phillip. She was still keeping her distance from him a bit. The memory of him just standing there as those men tore her down, it still hurt. Although there was another ache in her heart each time she saw him. She still had nightmares of seeing him on that hospital bed but never waking up. Maybe that’s why she defended him.

“That could’ve been P.T. He owns the Circus too.” Anne held in a scoff at W.D.’s suggestion. Anne was with Lettie about P.T. He cared, but he had other priorities.

“Let’s just practice. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” Anne needed to feel control. She needed to be in the air. Phillip always made her feel like she was free falling, but there were no ropes, and sometimes she wasn’t sure he would be there to catch her. In training there was W.D. and the ropes. She was always in control, always safe. Even today, when they were trying a new trick. It was going to be at the end of their routine and it was extremely dangerous. She had to flip to W.D. then he would throw her backwards back to her bar. Their timing was off a bit, so this time she was a bit too far. Her stomach dropped and for a moment she was flying. Then in a split second she reached out and grabbed the bar with one hand, slowing down her descent but it made her land off balance. She fell, most of the pain in her feet and ankles. She stood up quickly. Adrenaline was numbing the pain but later she would be unable to walk without crying out. But right now, she was enjoying the thrill of not dying. It was familiar.

“Anne!” Anne stiffened at Phillip’s desperate yell. Anne turned to see him running to her. He stopped in front of her, arms reaching out but not touching her. “Are you hurt? Is everything alright?” His eyes inspected every inch of her, his eyes lingering at her scared feet a bit. Anne fisted her hands resisting the urge to squirm. She was used to the men’s leery gazes. She’s seen it more times she can count. But Phillip didn’t leer, no he noticed and admired her in his stares. Even when he saw her ugly scared feet. Even when they were having issues. He seemed to notice her discomfort and stepped back, putting his arms down. “Anne, is everything alright?”

“Everythin’s fine, Mr. Carlyle.” Anne wondered if the twitch of his eye was because of her tone.

“Carlyle.” Anne noticed the same twitch when W.D. called him. Phillip turned to him letting her observe his profile.

“W.D.!” Phillip called happily, but Anne could see how the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“What do you want?” W.D. asked harshly. Anne resisted glaring at W.D. Anne knew W.D. and Phillip didn’t start on the right foot. W.D. was always protective of her. So Phillip’s attention to her was something he didn’t like. But when P,T. left and Phillip stayed, that made everyone realize he was in this. Then he tried to save her and they almost lost him. He was practically one of them, but what happened a few days ago was a brutal reminder that he wasn’t. Two steps forward, one back. Phillip composed himself. The fake smile, for Anne was sure that it was fake, coming back on his face.

“I just wanted to check in before the performance tonight. Phineas is coming with his family tonight and I just wanted to see how everyone is doing.” Phillip explained nervously. In fact there was a restlessness to Phillip that wasn’t normally there. Anne narrowed her eyes wondering what it could be. Phillip turned to her and she could see the makeup under his eyes. His skin was a bit paler too. Worst of all, his normally bright blue eyes were bit dull, but they seemed to brighten as he looked at her. The way his eyes brighten made Anne blush. There was the dropping in her stomach again. Despite her feet being on the ground.

“We’re fine.” W.D. growled out, grounding Anne once again. Phillip looked to him, the smile, just a little less fake this time.

“Good! And you guys look great!” Phillip made sure to look at both of them. Anne shook her head.

“We weren’t in sync and the timing was off.” Anne gritted out, shaking her head, as she walked away. She gritted her teeth to keep from limping. Her feet were throbbing in time with her racing heart. She knew that if either W.D. or Phillip knew about her pain they would keep her from practicing. She needed to practice till the performance was perfect. She wanted all the performances to be perfect. Not for anyone, just for herself. She promised her mother that she would fly and no one could chain her. If the performance was perfect, it would show that she was free. A soft touch on her arm stopped her. She turned to see Phillip glance at her feet.

“How are your feet?” Anne hated how soft and sincere Phillip sounded. It made it hard to hate him.

“I can still perform Mr. Carlyle.” Anne couldn’t, more like she didn’t want to, step away from Phillip. She hoped her words pushed him away.

“I would rather you be taken care of, than you perform.” Phillip said softly as he gazed at her. Anne felt the breath leave her. Instead of pushing him away, he seemed to get closer.

“Thanks, Carlyle.” Phillip flinched away at W.D.’s harsh interruption. “But I can take better care of her than your money.” W.D. sneered. This time Anne did send a seething glare at W.D. But when she looked back at Phillip, her concern grew. He had shrunk away from them, from her, shame and another emotion making him bend into himself. He must have saw her concern because the fake smile came back.

“Got it. You guys look great, by the way, and Phineas would be proud.” W.D. nodded and quickly turned away.

“I’ll check the ropes again.” W.D. told Anne. She nodded to W.D. as he left. She turned back to Phillip, who was staring at her, but something was off. His usually kept hair was a bit ruffled, his shirt was a bit untuck, and there was dirt on his hands.

“Rough day?” Anne offered as she walked to the powder on the chair by the pole. She was horrible at small talk, but it was better than watching him stare at her.

“Um, yeah. Everyone’s always a bit nervous when Phineas visits. I had to help Charles with his suit, the twins wanted different costumes last minute, and Leeds couldn’t find his pillow thanks to O’Malley. But they are getting ready and practicing.” Phillip was fiddling with his clothes, fixing the little details of his outfit. “Oh! I got you and your brother different colored costumes, if you don’t like them you don’t have to wear them, but I was talking to Phineas and I thought that having costumes that matched the season could be good.” Phillip was smiling at her, and anger rose.

“Stop it.” Anne grounded out. She glanced at him to see his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, making her clench her hands tightly. Powder flew into the air wildly, blinding her like her fury. “Stop it with the gifts. I’m not a thing to buy!” She glared at Phillip and began walking towards him. “So stop giving, and start doing.” Anne grabbed a rope and pulled, making her soar into the air. She was free, she was herself. When she looked down, Phillip gazed at her, a deep sadness in his eyes. But there was also something else, something she was too familiar with, fear. Fear was in his eyes. Anne quickly twriled downward, but when she hit the ground he was gone.

* * *

 

The show went great and her newest trick was performed perfectly. Anne was happy, but but she felt the blood seeping into her gold wraps. Anne took a seat and spotted Phillip. He was talking to another customer when Helen tackled his leg. Phillip, teetered a bit but he held her close. He swung her up into a hug. He whispered in her ear presenting her with candy. Caroline was next, and he let Helen down to greet Caroline at eye level. He gave her a hug and put a candy in her hand. Charity came up to berate them and they all appeared sorry, but when Charity looked to a laughing  P.T., Phillip winked at the girls and gave them some more.

“He’s always doing that.” Anne jumped and looked at Lettie. “Did I startle you?” Lettie chuckled and Anne joined in. Anne scooted over to make room for Lettie to sit down beside her. Lettie took the seat, lifting her new blue dress with embroidered snowflakes on the bottom, high enough to not touch the ground.

“You should know that it takes more than that to scare me.” Anne chuckled back. Their chuckles died as they watched Phillip and the Barnum family. Despite her previous anger at him before, she couldn’t help but admire how Phillip was with the kids. They always had smiling faces around him, and so did he. He was grinning, his eyes sparkling brightly.

“He’s good to them.” Anne, held in her jump this time. She looked at Lettie and saw a knowing look on her face. Anne let a blush dust her cheeks.

“He is.” Anne said looking back to Phillip. That’s when she saw it. While everyone was looking away, talking to Charlie and the twins about their new act Phillip had set up,  Phillip was leaning on his cane. It was usually a show prop nothing more, but Phillip was actually using it this time. He looked, weary. Then in a flash it was gone. Phillip was smiling and laughing with everyone else. “Did you see that?” Anne asked Lettie.

“See what?” Lettie seemed purely conused. Anne went back to observing Phillip.

“Phillip. He seems tired.” Anne turned to Lettie to see her shrug.

“I don’t know. But I do know that he’s been avoiding the bar, or spending any quality time with us. All he does is work out here or work in his office and goes to his apartment. He’s been, busy.” Lettie scoffed, but Anne could see the concern in her eyes, and if Anne was being honest with herself, she was more concerned about Phillip too. She didn’t have time to register her concern though. Helen was running towards her.

“Anne!” Anne smiled at Caroline as she ran up to her. “I love the new costume! You look like the queen of the Winter fairies.” Caroline said with wide eyes. Anne smiled shyly and looked down at her costume. Her new costume was white with blue sparkles, and it had fur lining, with long a blue cover. W.D.’s was a white vest with blue sparkles, matched with blue pants with white sparkles, it also came with a fancy jacket. Hers came with a new snow white wig too. She wanted to hate it, but with the colder weather and how pretty it was, she just had to try it. W.D. entertained her, but she saw how much more comfortable he was in the new costume too. She loved it. Anne leaned closer to Caroline.

“I love it too, but I could never be as pretty as you! I saw your picture of your dance. You looked beautiful!” Caroline giggled and Anne joined her.

“Thank you, Anne. But I could never fly like you.” Caroline said shyly. Anne felt brave for a moment.

“I could teach you, if you and your momma are okay with it?” Anne offered. She was glad she did. Caroline’s eyes lit up like two blue suns.

“Really? You could teach me how to fly?” Caroline asked excitedly. Anne laughed.

“Yep, but your momma’s gotta be okay with our lessons, okay?” Anne said sternly. Caroline nodded.

“Momma! Momma!” Caroline called Charity. Charity looked from the conversation P.T., Phillip, the twins, and Charles were in. She gracefully strolled to Caroline’s side, Caroline following her.

“What is it, Caroline?” Charity asked with a smile. Caroline began jumping up and down.

“Anne wants to teach me to fly!” Caroline yelled. Helen’s eyes grew big.

“I wanna learn too!” She cried.

“Well Anne offered classes to me first!” Caroline cried back.

“Girls,” Charity said sternly. The girls stopped fighting and quieted. “I think Anne is the teacher. So why don’t you ask her to teach you both?” Charity offered gently.

“Can you?” The girls asked. Anne blushed and looked at Charity. Charity’s gentle nod and comforting smile made Anne’s smile grow.

“Of course I can teach both of you! I’ll just have to drag my brother too.” Anne said with a wink.

“Anne!” P.T. was approaching them, Phillip by his side. “Great performance! I loved the trick at the end. Right amount of risky, had the whole audience gasping. Although that may have been your new costume.” Anne noticed the stern look P.T. shot Phillip’s way.

“All the new costumes caused a stir.” Anne said as she nodded over to the twins and Charles. “Thanks for that.” Anne said to P.T. While she didn’t idolize him, she did respect him. He was the one that started this ragtag family.

“Well you’re most extremely welcome. But it was really Phillip. He is over compensating, partner. But it’s not without merritt. Good job.” P.T. slapped his hand on Phillip’s shoulder. Phillip’s smile made Anne’s heart skip a beat. It was completely boyish and made him look years younger. Even his strong jaw seemed to soften.

“You can’t doubt Phillip, Daddy! He’s the great ringmaster!” Helen yelled.

“That I am. And do you know what the final, final act of the night?” Phillip bent to the girls’ height.

“What?” The girls asked with wide eyes.

“The tales of the flying girls!” Phillip grabbed each girl under one arm and spun them around. The girls screamed happily as they laughed.

“Careful Phillip!” Charity yelled as she laughed. It was in that moment, that Phillip tripped and they all fell to the ground in the mud. Luckily, Phillip pulled the girls into his chest, protecting them from the mud. It was mainly him that was covered in mud. “This is why we’re careful outside.” Charity chided lightly as she helped Helen up, P.T. picked up Caroline, and Anne held out her hand for Phillip. His eyes widened, as he stared between her hand and her.

“Get mud on the costume, you pay for it.” Anne smirked. Phillip smiled gently and grabbed her hand.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He said softly as he put his hands in hers. The warm tingle she felt touching him came, and she realized how much she missed really touching him. Feeling his warmth, his joy. He kept his distance, keeping his mud covered costume and hair away from her costume, and Anne had to resist the urge to get closer to him. His joy contagious.

“It was Phillip’s idea, mom.” Caroline blamed, dragging Anne into reality. Anne let go of Phillp’s hand. Phillip scoffed and opened his mouth, but then he suddenly froze.

“Well, well, well.” A well dressed blonde man with light brown eyes came from behind them all. Something about the man made Anne stiffen, and worse, she saw Phillip stiffen too. “The rumors are true I see.” The man smirked as he leaned on his cane. The girls noticed Phillip’s stillness.

“Phillip?” Helen called with concern. Phillip unfroze and shook his jacket, trying to clean the mud off his jacket.

“I’m fine girls. You guys should go say hi to Lettie before she goes to celebrate with the others.” Phillip offered with his fake smile. Helen jumped and grabbed her mom, but Caroline stared a bit longer before Charity guided her away. “You should take Anne and go celebrate with the others.” Phillip looked at P.T. with pleading eyes. P.T. glanced between Phillip and the smirking man, before P.T. turned to the man.

“P.T. Barnum at your service.” P.T. smirked. The fear in Phillip’s eyes made Anne get closer to Phillip.

“Ah, P.T. Barnum, I have heard a lot about you.” The man said condescendingly.

“Too bad I haven’t had the same pleasure.” P.T.’s smirk grew and a scowl appeared on the man’s face, before it turned to a sinister smirk geared at Phillip.

“Well that’s too bad. My name is William Carlyle.” The man, William bowed. Anne glanced at Phillip, and the terrified look grew, and she noticed how he avoided her eyes.

“Carlyle? Are you related to Phillip?” P.T. was glancing between William and Phillip too. Phillip avoided his gaze.

“A dog may carry fleas, but it isn’t related to them. Right, Phillip?” William spat. Anne lurched forward before Phillip stepped in front of her.

“Barnum, please take Anne to see the others.” Phillip begged before he grabbed the man’s arm and dragged him away. Anne watched with wide eyes. She looked up to P.T., to see that he was as shocked as she was. Phillip said he didn’t have an act but he did, and Anne didn’t like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do different POV's in the story. I hope Anne or W.D. aren't OC. Sorry if they are.


	5. Chapter 4: Cure Your Aching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine’s Day!

**P.T.’S POV**  
“I got it!” Phineas called to his girls as he went to the door. He opened the door, expecting the postman, but he was surprised to see Anne, W.D., Lettie, and Charles not in costume. Anne was biting her lip, Lettie was grabbing her dress, and both men stood stoic behind them. “Guys? What are you doing here? Is everything alright? Is someone else sick?”

  
“Who is it Daddy?” Helen asked as she ran to him. “Anne! Lettie! What are you guys doing here?” Helen ran and hugged the girls. He was glad to see that Caroline and Helen were growing up to care for everyone, despite color, size, shape, and anything else. Caroline followed and ran up to Anne.

  
“Anne, you’re not in costume.” Caroline observed. Anne’s eyes widened and her hands fidgeted.

  
“This is what I really look like.” She stated. It hurt Phineas a bit to see such a talented girl, be so insecure. Caroline smiled and hugged her.

  
“I can see why Phillip likes you so much.” Phineas expected Anne to blush, but instead her eyes hardened, while she put on a smile.

  
“Thanks, Caroline.” Anne gritted out.

  
“Caroline, why don’t you and Helen go play in your room for a bit?” Phineas offered. Helen immediately pouted.

  
“But I wanna hang out with Lettie and Anne too!” Helen cried. Phineas was about to get on his knees when Charity came in.

  
“Girls this is a time to listen to your father.” Charity said sternly. Helen groaned but she did follow Caroline upstairs. “Did you guys want any drinks? Are you hungry?” Charity offered.

  
“We need your help, please.” Anne pleaded. Phineas’ concern grew.

  
“Come sit down then.” He lead them inside and he knew Charity was going to make some tea. He lead them to the sitting room and stood by the desk. Lettie took the armchair, W.D. and Charles took the couch, and Anne was pacing. “Is someone sick again?” There was a scare when Leeds, O’Malley, and the Golden Lady got sick. Granted, Phillip planned for that. It was smart, since illness always scared Phineas ever since his father died. Anne stopped and turned to him.

  
“It’s Phillip.” Anne’s walls dropped a bit and her voice became desperate.

  
“Phillip?” Phineas crossed his arms. “He seemed just fine a few days ago.” The show that night was amazing and Phillip was right about the costumes. Since they were all Winter themed, there was more magic in the air. Despite the awkward meeting with that William fellow, he seemed fine.

  
“Yeah, he’s always fine.” Lettie scoffed but there was barely any venom, just worry.

  
“He’s been fumblin’ durin’ practices since.” W.D. stated. Phineas raised his eyebrows a bit at the concern he heard in W.D.’s voice.

  
“And lately, he’s practically coughin’ up his lungs.” Charles jumped up on the couch.

  
“He never goes to the bar with us. But that could be a good thing.” Lettie said sarcastically. “All he does is paperwork, the show, and leave, without so much as a goodbye.” Lettie ranted. Phineas put his hands together and tried to see what they were seeing. Phillip, ignoring everyone, drinking, and tired. That was the Phillip that he met. The new Phillip, the one he about a week ago was happy and carefree. He was a bit pale, and trembled a bit, but he didn’t have alcohol. He wasn’t anything like the old Phillip.

  
“He seemed fine to me. And even if he didn’t, what could I do?” Phineas asked trying to get the whole picture. Charity finally came in, passing tea around. Everyone but Anne took some. She was staring at the ground, biting her lip. When Charity sat by him on the arm of the chair, Phineas immediately grabbed her hand. He glanced up at her, hoping she would help him. She glanced back and gave a subtle nod.

  
“Anne, dear, what are your thoughts on Phillip?” Charity offered. Everyone was quiet as they watched Anne. Anne looked to her hands.

  
“He’s lying. Always saying he’s fine but he’s not, he’s tired, or somethin’.” Anne spoke with a shuddering voice. She looked up at Phineas and he felt her plea in her watery eyes, deep in his soul. “You can’t tell me that you didn’t see it.” Phineas saw the hope and desperation in her eyes. He had to help them, and Phillip.

  
“When did this all start?” Phineas was thankful for Charity’s input.

  
“About a week ago.” Anne muttered, looking away again.

  
“Did something happen?” Charity asked, keeping a level head. Phineas went to her side. The rest of them looked at each other with wide eyes.

  
“Well?” Phineas pushed, realizing that they were missing a very important piece of the picture.

  
“Ten days ago, we were at the bar.” Lettie began. Phineas fixed his attention to her. “The show went great and we were celebrating. Until some protesters that Phillip got rid of at the beginning of the show came in.” Lettie’s hands fisted her dress and Phineas knew he wasn’t going to like where the story was going. “They wanted us out because we were freaks, but Phillip stood up for us, saying that we’re people too.” Phineas heard the admiration and guilt in Lettie’s voice. “That’s when things started to get ugly. The protesters realized Phillip was a rich boy and, and,” Lettie stopped, and began breathing hard, as if she was trying to hold back tears.

  
“They said that he was a fake freak.” Charles stated sadly. Phineas gasped and he felt Charity grab his hand. He looked to her to see tears in her eyes. Phineas wondered why.

  
“Then they began talkin’ about Anne.” W.D. grunted, taking Phineas’ attention away from Charity. “Askin’ how long she could keep her legs open.” A part of Phineas worried about the tight grip he had on the couch. The other part wanted to deck the protesters. “Then he went on about if Phillip paid her or ordered her to keep ‘em open.” Phineas furrowed his eyebrows.

  
“What did Phillip do?” Phineas knew Phillip had to have done something. Phillip cared for Anne too much.

  
“He told the protester to leave and held W.D. back.” Anne stated. Phineas looked around knowing that something had to be missing, but no one said anything.

  
“That’s it?” Phineas was surprised. Phillip wasn’t the best at hiding his emotions. So for him to do so little surprised him.

  
“He was trying to protect us from a fight. We didn’t need it.” Lettie scoffed, but Phineas could tell that it wasn’t real.

  
“Let me talk to him.” Phineas looked to Charity. She had tears in her eyes but a knowing smile on her face. “I think I know what’s wrong.”

  
“How?” Phineas couldn’t help but ask. Charity’s smile grew.

  
“Experience.” She said plainly. Phineas cocked an eyebrow and fiddled with his fingers. Before anyone else could say anything there was a frantic knock on the door. Phineas lifted a finger, and went to the door. When he opened it, the twins were carrying a clammy, red face, wheezing Phillip, one of his arms over each of their shoulders.

  
“We brought him here as fast as we could.” Eng, or Chang, gasped. Phineas went to them.

  
“W.D.!” Phineas took Phillip’s arm from Eng’s arm. “I got him Eng.” Phineas commented off-handedly, and Eng opened his mouth to say something, but he was beaten by Phillip.

  
“That’s, Chang.” Phillip said breathlessly, before he started coughing. His body bent over and Phineas had to hold Phillip up as his body was racked with coughs.

  
“Phillip!” Anne cried as her and W.D. ran to him. W.D. grabbed Phillip’s other arm and put it over his shoulder. Anne went to caress his face, and Phillip whimpered when her hands touched his face. “You’re burnin’ up.”

  
“I’m sorry, Anne. I’m so sorry.” Phillip gasped, his voice getting raspy.

  
“There’s a guest room upstairs. I’ll get the doctor.” Charity ran to the phone and Phineas nodded.

  
“Can you walk Phillip?” Phillip nodded at Phineas’ question but he stumbled forward. “Just use me and W.D. for help okay.” Phillip shook his head.

  
“I, I can walk. I’m fi-” Phillip was interrupted by another coughing fit that sent him to his knees. W.D. and Phineas couldn’t catch him as he fell to his knees. Anne went to her knees and grabbed Phillip’s face in her hands.

  
“Let them help you!” Anne ordered fiercely, but there was a tear spilling from her eyes. Phillip reached for her, but stopped and nodded. He stood up to shaking knees. Phineas and W.D. went to him and grabbed an arm to put over their shoulders again.

  
“Phillip!” Caroline called from the top of the stairs. Phineas looked to her and Helen.

  
“Girls, get the guest room ready for Phillip.” He ordered and the girls left quickly. He shifted Phillip over his shoulder more. “We’re going to try this again.” Phineas grunted and began walking to the stairs with W.D. They were more dragging Phillip than helping him, but Phineas heard Phillip’s ragged breaths. “That’s good Phillip. Just keep breathing.” Phillip nodded but a coughing fit came over him. W.D. and Phineas were able to catch him, but the coughing fit didn’t end. Phineas felt his heart pound like a drum. After the fit was done, Phillip almost went slack in their hold, his breath coming out in wheezy pants. “Hold on kid.” Phineas whispered before he finished taking him to the guest room.

* * *

 “Influenza.” The doctor’s voice was papery yet strong. He was a gray haired man with thin glasses hanging off of his bird nose, and a sharp face but they were soften by a kind smile. Phineas knew he had seen the man before. The doctor was sitting on the edge of the bed Phillip was laying on. It was in the back right corner of the room. The room had a small window by the table in the left corner. The room was smaller than the other two guest rooms, with a small hole that allowed water to leak through but it was pretty and the closest to the stairs. The room had striped green wallpaper and white oak furniture. A part of Phineas wished that he could provide more, but he ignored that. The doctor put his stethoscope behind his neck. “He’s lucky. I had just ordered some medicine the week before. There seems to be a lot of cases lately. He’s the sixth one this month.” The doctor said glancing at Phillip. Phillip was sweaty, and still wheezing. “ Did he show any sickness signs before he passed out?” The doctor asked innocently, but Phineas felt a pang of guilt. He looked to the others, and they seemed to feel the same guilt.

  
“He has been keeping himself away and, he liked to drink.” Anne said softly in Charity’s arms. The doctor nodded and sighed.

  
“Sadly it is easy to mistake the effects of drinking with the signs of influenza. Luckily you all caught him before it worsened. Although, he still might have to go through the rough stages. It’s going to be tough but he is strong and healthy for his age.” The doctor reached into the bag. He pulled out a small round brown bottle with a label Phineas couldn’t read. The doctor moved his glasses closer to his face and nodded. “So with one and a half teaspoon of this three times a day, he will be just fine.” He handed the bottle to Phineas. Phineas nodded.

  
“Thanks doc. How much?” Phineas asked, holding out his hand and the doctor laughed.

  
“Nothing. This young man, and the show have helped my family and I so much. I am glad to finally repay the favor.” The doctor shook Phineas’ hand firmly with a smile. “It was nice to meet the man that can create so much magic.” The doctor said as he rounded up his things. “Make sure this young man gets some rest.” Before he left, he stopped in front of Anne. “Her majesty says hello and cannot wait to see you tomorrow.” Anne gave a watery smile and a little curtsey.

  
“I can’t wait to see her either.” The man chuckled and left with one final tip of his hat. Silence filled the room, accenting Phillip’s labored breathing. It only took another second, before Anne was next to Phillip, holding his hand. Phillip’s eyes fluttered open.

  
“You’re here.” He rasped. Anne nodded and squeezed his hand.

  
“I am, just get some rest.” She ordered softly. Phillip just stared at her. Phineas finally saw the fear Anne was talking about in Phillip’s eyes.

  
“So, Phineas has the Circus?” Phillip asked, as he licked his dry lips. Anne nodded, concern furrowing her brows.

  
“Yeah, he’s gonna take care of it.” Something in Phillip broke at Anne’s answer. Phineas saw the heartbreak in his eyes. He began breathing hard. “Phillip?” Phillip went into a coughing fit. Phineas helped hold him up as he coughed. Phineas didn’t let him go until he was done and leaned back onto the bed. “Phillip are you okay?” Anne asked more loudly this time, but her caress on his face was gently. There was still sadness in his eyes as he gazed at Anne, but there was happiness too.

  
“I have you. I’m fine.” He said with a boyish smile. Anne chuckled.

  
“You have to get better so I can kiss you.” Anne smirked as she leaned her forehead against his. Phillip smiled.

  
“Yes mam, I will. If you continue to do the trapeze.” Anne moved away from him and shook her head at Phillip’s ultimatum.

  
“I’m not leaving you.” Anne stated with determination. Phillip gave a raspy chuckle that lead into coughs.

  
“You were the one I was meant to find, so we’ll always come back to each other. Don’t let me chain you to the ground.” Phillip let go of Anne’s hand. “Be free angel.” Phillip whispered as he finally closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. Anne gave a little gasp. Phineas stood there, watching Anne gaze at Phillip.

  
“Anne, let’s go.” Phineas said softly. She didn’t move, but tears fell from her eyes. “Anne?” Phineas walked towards her.

  
“That’s the last thing my momma said to me.” She whispered so softly that Phineas barely heard it. Then she wiped her eyes and stood up. She looked at Phineas and smirked. “The show must go on right?” Phineas smirked back.

  
“Yes it does.” They left the room, but Phineas let Anne get one last look at the sleeping Phillip before he closed the door. They traveled in silence to the stairs, until Lettie came to them.

  
“P.T., you gotta see this.” The worry in Lettie’s eyes got Phineas running down the stairs. He went to the sitting room where everyone was huddled around Charity. Charity was looking down at a paper, a hand covering her mouth and tears flowing down her cheeks.

  
“What’s going on?” Charity was still looking at the paper, but everyone looked up at him, sad and angry looks on his faces. Helen was the only one that came up to him.

  
“What is a bastard Daddy?” Phineas’ eyes grew wide.

  
“Helen!” Charity chastised as she finally looked up from the letter, her face red. Helen flinched, and went behind Phineas’ leg. Charity sighed and ran a head through her hair. She approached Helen and bent to her level. “I’m sorry honey.” She said softly. “That’s a word you don’t say okay.” Helen nodded. Charity opened her arms and Helen went into them.

  
“I won’t say it anymore, mom. I promise.” Helen said as she dug her head in Charity’s neck. Phineas felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down to see Caroline staring at him, desperation in her eyes.

  
“You won’t dissown me right daddy?” Phineas thought his eyes would pop out from the ridiculous things his girls were saying.

  
“Of course not honey. What makes you say that?” Phineas asked as he grabbed her hand. She pointed to Charity. Specifically the papers she was handing out to him. The papers were wrinkled and had creases in them from being folded. Phineas took them and began reading them out loud. The first had bold calligraphy across the top. “Declaration of Disownment?” Phineas looked up to Charity and she nodded. Phineas focused back on the paper. “To whom it may concern. As of October 18, 1888, Phillip Carlyle is hereby disowned and removed from the family line of the Carlyle family. For his continuing disgraceful and immoral acts, he is hereby removed and banned from any connections, any inheritance, and any other property in the Carlyle name. If anyone hears of a man using the title or name of Phillip Carlyle, please inform the authorities. Thank you. John Carlyle, Head of the Carlyle family.” Phineas looked back up. He knew this was coming, all of them did.

  
“There’s a letter.” Charity said tearfully. Phineas brought the back paper to the front. The writing on it was cursive and more freehand.

  
“Phillip, I am writing this to you as a business associate. This letter is to inform you that William has gained your title and inheritance, since you refuse to acknowledge your disgraceful and sickening actions. William, the man from last month?” Phineas looked up and Charity nodded.

  
“Keep going.” She whispered. Phineas gulped as he looked down.

  
“Since the disownment is your fault, a compensation of $500 must be made by the end of the week! Jesus! Do they want the clothes off his back too?” Phineas yelled before he calmed down and continued. “You can obtain Sue, but the accounts and apartment under Phillip Carlyle’s name is being repossessed!” Phineas stared at the paper, gaping. “They can’t do that!” Charity looked away sadly, her tears spilling faster.

  
“As head of the Carlyle family, John has say in whatever property or investment is under the Carlyle name.” Phineas gaped trying to settle back into reality.

  
“What about the Circus?” If the Carlyle’s could take away Phillip’s apartments, did they have a say over the Circus. Charity shrugged. Phineas shook his head and decided to ask Phillip about that later. Phineas focused back on the letter. “Since you insist to act and hang around the filth of society, you can be treated like them. You will be arrested if seen around or in a Carlyle establishment. The Carlyle house is not your home, when you fail. And after our dealings for Sue, further communication between you and any Carlyle or anyone associated with the Carlyles is forbidden. The Carlyles are not, and will never be family with a man who is a disgrace and a bastard. Continue to tarnish and fail your name, Phillip, since it is all you have. Signed John Carlyle, head of the Carlyle family.” Phineas stared at the paper, fury rising in him.

  
“Girls go upstairs.” Charity whispered to them. The girls nodded and ran upstairs. Phineas relaxed a bit. He didn’t want the girls seeing his simmering anger. Which started with a stream of muttered curses as he strangled the paper, imagining a throat.

  
“That heartless, selfish, pious, son of-“

  
“Phineas!” Charity scolded, before he could finish. Phineas sighed and loosened his hold on the paper.

  
“Where did you get this?” Phineas looked at the twins.

  
“That was in the papers I brought from his desk.” One of the twins said, a stack of papers in his hands. Phineas grabbed the papers and looked through them. Phillip was a very organized person. There were four folders, itenary, P.T. financial plans, financial plans, and show ideas. A paper slipped out from one of the folders and Phineas picked it up. His heart dropped when he saw the bold letters stamped across the top.

  
“Eviction notice?” Phineas read from the paper.

  
“Eviction?” Anne repeated, her voice tight. “Does that mean what I think it means?” Everyone sat in silence, the answer looming over them. Even Charity stared up to the guest room, her eyes tearful.

  
“Well,” Phineas ended the silence with a loud clap, making everyone jump. “We have a show Monday. So I need to go over Phillip’s notes and everyone else can go get ready.” That seemed to move everyone. Everyone stiffened or stood up.

  
“What about Phillip?” Charles asked angrily.

  
“How are we going to know what’s going on?” Lettie said at the same time. Phineas put his hands up.

  
“Look, we’ll take care of him for the weekend. With only a few visitors,” Phineas made sure to look at Anne. She visibly relaxed. Phineas focused back to everyone else. “And on Monday after the show I’ll bring some more of you to see him. Is that good?” They all looked at each other and nodded. Charles stood on the table in front of Phineas, arms crossed.

  
“Anne, and W.D. will stay.” Charles stated strongly. Phineas chuckled and put his hand out.

  
“That was always a part of the deal.” Phineas winked. Charles smiled and shook Phineas’ hand.

  
“Let’s go guys!” Charles yelled as he jumped off the table. The twins followed him. Lettie went to Anne at the stairs and gave her a big hug.

  
“Take care of him. Make sure he comes home.” Lettie said sternly.

  
“I will.” Anne hugged Lettie back tightly and Phineas could see tears come from Lettie’s eyes. Lettie parted from Anne and looked to W.D.

  
“I’ll tell Sarah where you’re at so she won’t miss you.” W.D. looked away as Lettie left with a laugh. If Phineas remembered correctly, Sarah was the youngest sister of the knife throwing act. Finally it was just him, his family, and the Wheelers.

  
“Anne.” Phillip’s moan echoed and Anne automatically responded by running to him. Phineas followed. “Anne!” Another moan, followed by loud coughing. Phineas got to the room and saw Phillip struggling to get up. “Anne! She’s in the fire. I have to get her! I can’t lose her. I can’t.” Phillip was crying between coughs, making him struggle to breathe.

  
“Phillip!” Anne ran to him and sat on his bed. “Phillip! I’m here, I’m here,” Anne directed Phillip’s distant eyes to her. I’m right here.” Anne lightly kissed his forehead. Phillip gripped her clothes, but his breathing wasn’t getting better. “Breathe with me.” She hugged his ear to her chest as she exaggerated her breathing. His breathing began matching hers, but he still clinged to her. Phineas and everyone else left, for the girls were outside their room staring at Phillip’s room with teary eyes. Phineas made sure to close the door till it was only open a crack.

  
“I’ll show you to your room W.D.” Charity lead W.D. to another guest room.

  
“I’ll help!” Helen followed after them, a smile on her face as she wiped the tears off her face. Phineas chuckled and shook his head.

  
“It’s scary to really love someone, huh Daddy?” Phineas glanced at Caroline. She was still staring at Phillip and Anne through the crack of the door.

  
“Depends on the person.” Phineas sighed. Caroline looked towards him. “It can be scary to love, but the right person helps you through those fears.” Caroline seemed good with that answer since she went back to staring.

  
“Can I be Phillip’s second nurse?” Caroline asked. Phineas bit his lip.

  
“Uh, ask your mother.” Phineas offered and Caroline ran towards the way Charity went. Phillip let out a sigh and looked down at the papers in his hand. Then he gave one last glance at Phillip and Anne. Anne was still holding Phillip, who lessened his hold on her. “What are we gonna do with you kid?” Phineas sighed as he began flipping through the paperwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes!! But have P.T. Circus Dad to make up for it.


	6. Chapter 5: A Bit of a Scandal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions of Child Abuse/Neglect

**Charity’s POV**  
“Are you sure about this?” Phineas asked for the fifth time that morning. Charity held in sigh.

  
“If I have to say yes one more time, you’ll find yourself taking a dose of Phillip’s medicine.” Charity poked Phineas’ chest and he chuckled.

  
“Okay, okay. I just don’t like the idea of you going there alone.” Phineas said as he fixed his buttons roughly. “And with Phillip, who still has a hard time standing.” Charity came and stopped him before he ruined his suit.

  
“I know, but he was really adamant about this. Even Anne couldn’t stop him.” Charity undid Phineas’ work and gently fixed it. “He needs to see this Sue woman. And, and I have to see his parents.” Charity admitted. After reading and rereading the letter from Phillip’s parents, Charity couldn’t believe that a parent wrote it. Not even her parents disowned her after she married Phineas, or he started the Circus. Phillip’s parents must still love him. She was patting down Phineas’ suit when he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

  
“I love you and I love your heart.” Phineas caressed her face and kissed her tenderly. Charity smiled, even when they parted.

  
“Flattery will not convince me.” Charity whispered. Phineas laughed. Charity got his bag and Phillip’s papers, as Phineas put on his shoes.

  
“It’s probably for the best anyway. I probably would hit his father if I saw him.” Charity shook her head.

  
“How about you use that passion to make the show amazing?” Charity offered with a kiss to his cheek and gave him his things. Phineas relaxed and took a deep breath. Then there was a knock on the door. Charity and Phillip jumped in surprise to see a cloaked Anne staring at them.

  
“Sorry, but um Phillip needs help.” Anne said as she leaned against the doorway.

  
“Go help him.” Charity said with a pat to Phineas’ jacket.

  
“Momma we’re ready!” Caroline yelled from across the hallway. Charity sighed and looked down at her nightgown.

  
“I can get the girls.” Anne chimed. Charity saw the hope in her eyes.

  
“That would be great, thank you.” Charity said sincerely as she ran to the closet. She picked a nice light blue long sleeved striped gown with a cream cover. She parted her hair at the top and put it in a little bun at the back of her head. She gave herself a once over and a little nod before heading downstairs. When she got down, she saw Anne running after the girls, cape billowing behind her revealing a simple light green gown. She captured Helen in her cloak.

  
“I got ya now princess! Mwah-ha-ha!” Anne cackled. Helen’s retort was stopped by tickling.

  
“Help, Caroline!” Helen screamed between laughs. Caroline turned to Helen and Anne.

  
“I’ll save you Helen!” She ran to Anne and jumped on her back. Anne yelped but caught Caroline. Charity laughed and shook her head.

  
“Be careful girls.” Charity warned. This time, the girls listened and calmed down. Caroline climbed off of Anne with her help. Helen ran to Charity.

  
“Anne was telling us about a monster that tickles people to death!” Helen exclaimed with wide eyes. Charity’s smile grew. She loved how her girls’ dreamed and imagined the world around them. It helped keep the magic alive in their house.

  
“So how does this monster tickle people to death?” Charity asked, knowing full well what was going to happen. She prepared herself when Helen looked to Caroline and they shared a mischievous smile.

  
“Like this!” Both girls pounced at Charity and began tickling her sides. Charity guarded herself, but the girls small fingers found their target and Charity let out peals of laughter.

  
“I can stop these beasts.” Anne came in and swooped Caroline into the air. Caroline laughed but began tickling Anne’s neck. Somehow Charity and Anne ended up running from the girls as they yelled that they were tickle monsters. They hadn’t gotten Charity, but she was already laughing non-stop. Anne had ‘sacrificed’ herself and the girls had her on the floor.

  
“Looks like fun.” Phineas chuckled behind Charity, making her jump. She looked back to him. He was smiling at the girls, but there was a sadness deep in his eyes.

  
“What’s wrong?” Charity faced him, her hand automatically caressing his face. He looked to her and leaned into her touch.

  
“He can’t go.” Charity’s face fell, but Phineas glanced at the girls and Charity forced a smile on her face.

  
“That is probably for the best. I can stay,” Phineas started to shake his head at Charity’s suggestion.

  
“He wants to get this Sue lady. He made me promise to get her. To,” Phineas stopped and Charity rubbed his arm with her hand to help him continue. Phineas gazed at her, his eyes a mix of sadness and rage. “He doesn't want them to hurt her.” Phineas grounded out. Charity held in a gasp by fisting Phineas’ jacket.

  
“Someone has to go.” Charity stated and Phineas nodded. Charity looked to the girls. It was Anne’s turn to tickle the girls. They were beaming smiles at each other. Charity sighed in relief to see them so happy. The past couple of days had been hard on all of them, Phillip wasn’t a fussy patient. He took the foul smelling medicine with barely a complaint. He even made sure to not cough in front of anyone. He was a good patient. It was Phillip’s dazes that had everyone tense. When in a daze he whimpered and moaned. Only Anne, and sometimes Charity, could bring him out of them. They were getting louder and longer though, just like his coughing fits. Charity was worried. She thought that maybe his mother could help. Somehow, she knew that Phillip had been through this before. “You take the girls and take care of the Circus. I will get this Sue woman and take care of Phillip.”

  
“Be careful.” Phineas warned and his smile dropped. Charity smiled, touched by his concern. Then she glanced at the girls. Caroline and Helen were chasing each other, with Anne watching. Charity noticed Anne’s worried glances.

  
“I’ll be fine, and so will Phillip. Just focus on the show and it’s magic.” Charity said loudly, making sure Anne could hear. She finished with a kiss on Phineas’ cheek. “Okay?”

  
“What else would I do?” Phineas gave her a wink. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “Come on girls. We’re going to create some magic.” Phineas turned and put his top hat on energetically. Charity and the girls laughed, except Anne.

  
“I’m gonna check on Phillip.” Before anyone could object, she was already going upstairs.

  
“Anne!” Phineas started going after her but Charity stopped him.

  
“Give her this.” They stared at each other, until Phineas sighed.

  
“Okay, tell her we’ll be in the carriage. Say bye to momma and let’s go make some magic girls!” Phillip yelled as he went out the door. Helen and Caroline ran up to Charity.

  
“Bye momma!” They cheered and Charity kissed their cheeks.

  
“Bye, my darlings. Have fun but keep an eye on your father for me.” Charity smirked.

  
“I heard that!” The girls and Charity laughed at Phineas’ chime. The girls ran to Phineas, their laughter echoing as they left. Charity turned around and saw Anne on top of the stairs. She had become significantly paler and her hands trembled.

  
“Anne, dear what’s wrong?” Charity came closer to the stairs to meet Anne. She came down, taking shaky breaths.

  
“I’m fine, Mrs.Barnum.” She said with a shaky voice, quickly walking past Charity. Charity debated for a minute before she called Anne.

  
“Anne,” Anne turned to her. Charity walked to Anne and gently took her hand. “Love is, one of the scariest things you can chose to do.” When Anne looked away, Charity knew that she hit her mark. “But fear never lets you fly.” Charity finished with a squeeze of Anne’s hand. She was surprised that Anne squeezed back.

  
“Thanks, Mrs. Barnum.” Anne flashed her a smile before running out the door. Charity smiled at her retreating form. Anne had some hard times coming up, but Charity knew Anne was a fearless and strong woman. She could survive loving Phillip, and Charity saw the determination in Phillip’s eyes to love Anne. Charity went up to check on Phillip. He was sleeping, but he kept muttering and moving fitfully. Charity went to Phillip and began wiping the sweat from his face.

  
“You have so many people that care for you Phillip. Please come back to us.” Charity whispered before she placed a tender kiss on his forehead and left.

* * *

 Charity stared up at the pristine white mansion, finally unsure of her decision. Charity thought she understood the way Phillip craved for freedom. She craved it herself before she married Phineas. She craved a release from the orders, the unspoken rules, and the suffocating pressure of being perfect. She saw the same craving and misery in Phillip’s eyes. But standing in front of the intimidating Carlyle house, she wondered if it was just a craving. Charity fisted her hands and moved to the door. When she knocked, it seemed to echo ominously. Charity was a bit relieved to see Donna Carlyle opened the door.

  
“Hello Mrs.Carlyle, I’m Charity-“

  
“Barnum.” Donna interrupted sharply. “The wife of that disgusting conman.” Donna looked down at Charity. Charity held in her fury, and took a deep breath through her nose.

  
“Yes, mam I am. I just came here for-“

  
“Sue.” Donna interrupted again and Charity covered her fist in front of her with her other hand. “About time he finished his business with us. SUE!” Donna yelled into the house. Charity’s eyes widened at Donna’s statement.

  
“Phillip?” Donna looked at Charity when she spoke. “You mean Phillip, right? Your son.”

  
“Phillip,” Donna spat, hate and hurt filling her eyes. “Is nothing more than a disgrace and a scandal.” Donna’s eyes began to water. The hate turning into guilt and regret. “He is not, never was, and never will be my son.” Donna stated harshly. Charity stepped back as if she was slapped. She felt her heart break for the smiling man who spoiled her girls, the man who supported her husband, the man who loved Anne with everything he had, the boy deep down that cared about people and wanted to be cared for in return. Charity’s heart broke for Phillip. What was worse was that Donna didn’t see that she was breaking Phillip’s heart. Donna only saw something that other woman talked about, a smear in her family’s name. Charity felt a fury and rage, that even surprised her. What surprised her more was that she wanted to act on it. Charity stepped forward, following her emotions, until a tall dark skinned woman with familiar dark eyes stepped into view.

  
“Yes’m?” The woman was dressed in a dusty black dress with white lining. Her wild dark curly hair in a bun. She looked at the ground, but through the way she held herself, Charity knew that the woman was strong.

  
“Sue, this is Charity Barnum. She was sent by, Phillip.” Donna spat Phillip’s name, making Charity’s stomach churn. The woman, Sue, looked up, hope shining in her eyes. Charity held out her hand.

  
“Pleased to meet you Miss Sue.” Charity waited, seeing the suspicion in Sue’s eyes. Sue stepped forward, out onto the foyer. Charity’s smile grew.

  
“Likewise Misses Barnum.” Sue’s voice was familiar to Charity, but she didn’t know how. Donna rolled her eyes and Charity gave her a glare.

  
“We are done here.” Donna clipped and slammed the door shut. Charity felt her cheeks heat up, and her hands fisted.

  
“Misses Barnum?” Sue’s call helped Charity ground herself. Charity dusted off her dress and looked at Sue.

  
“I apologize for the wait Sue. I can take you to Phillip.” Charity lead the way to the carriage and Sue followed her quietly. The tense quiet continued even when they got into the carriage. Charity noticed how Sue fisted her hands nervously, like Anne. “Phillip misses you.” Sue focused on Charity again. “He made us promise to come for you.” Sue narrowed her eyes at Charity.

  
“How do ya know him? And why would he make ya? That don’t sound like him.” Sue said strongly, fire in her eyes. Charity held in a smile. Sue was protective of Phillip, and it warmed Charity’s heart to see that someone from his home truly cared for him.

  
“Phillip works with my husband, Phineas.” Charity began to explain.

  
“The Circus man.” Charity held in a sigh. Her husband had achieved fame, and it seemed to follow him wherever he went. “I heard the Carlyles talkin’ about Phillip joinin’ the Circus. Didn’t know he had an act.” Sue scoffed, but Charity could tell that there wasn’t any real malice behind it.

  
“Well I don’t know if I would call Ringleader and financial partner an act.” Charity chuckled. Charity began thinking about all that Phillip did for the Circus. “Phillip manages the schedules, care of the performers, and the show in general. He stays late to help clean up after the show. He forces my husband into meetings,” Charity chuckled. She loved how when Phillip visited, he would practically drag Phineas into the office. “In fact, when my husband went, on a trip,” Charity choked a bit, the memory of losing Phineas to the sway of the lights all too real. But she pushed forward. “Phillip came by just to help with my girls. He cares so much, it’s worrisome. He’s given everything up for it.” Charity ended softly.

  
“Is Phillip okay?” Charity heard Sue’s worry and felt a bit guilty.

  
“I apologize Sue. I came to Phillip’s home because,” Charity stiffened and twisted her hands.

  
“He’s sick, ain’t he?” Sue asked sadly. Charity whipped her head up and stared at Sue.

  
“How did you know?” Hope flared in Charity’s chest. Although, Sue’s sad distant look made it curl back in.

  
“I got to Phillip when he was around 10, but he told me that when he was 5, he snuck out and was locked out. He got sick soon after and since then, every Winter he gets sick. Whether it small or mighty, he got sick. As he got older and started to drink, he hid it behind that. He never liked to be sick. It made him weak and Carlyles weren’t weak.” Sue scoffed. Charity tried holding her thoughts in but she couldn’t anymore.

  
“How is Phillip so kind, but his parents,” Charity had a hard time getting her words out. Sue didn’t seem to mind.

  
“I get it.” Sue chuckled dryly. “When I first met the Carlyles, they ignored me and left. Phillip,” Sue shook her head as a fond smile found its way onto her face. “Phillip greeted me with his crooked smile. He seemed so excited to have someone else over. He showed me around, told me the rules, helped me cook dinner.” Sue stopped talking and Charity could practically see the happy memory in her eyes. Suddenly it was replaced by so many other emotions, anger, anguish, and guilt. “Then the Carlyles came home. They saw him and, and began yellin’ at him. He just wanted to help. I guess the Carlyles are too good to even help others. They said they were helpin’ him understand his place.” Sue’s hands fisted. Charity held back the urge to comfort the woman. “I can’t forget the first time I heard Mr. Carlyle sayin’ somethin’ he always said, to Phillip. If you’re gonna help ‘em, then you get treated like ‘em. Then he forced Phillip to kneel in grits all night.” Sue said with watery eyes.

  
“Oh!” Charity cried and the torrent of emotions were back, with tears.

  
“I didn’t stop his punishments. I was so shocked and scared. Then it got worse when Phillip would go to school and come back with bruises on his arms.” Charity winced, the memories of being disciplined at her boarding schools came to mind. She heard that boys had it rougher. “That’s when the drinking really started, and I never stopped it.” Charity figured that Phillip gained that habit trying to forget things.

  
“His parents didn’t do anything about his punishments?” Charity asked, twisting her dress in her hands. Sue shook her head.

  
“They liked it and continued his own punishments at home. Untill he left the house a couple of years ago.” Charity felt the air leave her body as tears fell from her eyes. Sue didn’t notice and continued. “He became just like his parents. Always lookin’ for someone to please or another bottle. But Phillip could never be hateful. Not like ‘em.” Sue said, the fond smile coming back. Charity gave a short breathless chuckle, finally finding a memory to ground her.

  
“My husband said that when he offered Phillip the job, Phillip turned it down because he didn’t pick up peanut shells.” Charity let out another chuckle and Sue gave a chuckle too. “But he never called the performers freaks. He just didn’t want to be disgraced, or disowned.” Charity looked out the window at the passing country. She knew that despite her father’s disdain for Phineas, her parents still loved her. They still wrote her letters once a month. She could never imagine dealing with parents that saw their own child as a tool to discard when broken.

  
“I left my kids with someone else so that they could have a better future.” Sue’s deep southern drawl drew Charity away from the window. “But I would never leave ‘em because they were, as Mr. Carlyle says, involved with dirty people.” Sue grounded out. Another silence came over them, but this one was sorrowful. Charity remembered how her father would lock her in her own room. She would joke with herself that she was just a pretty bird in a pretty cage. Part of her still knew that the joke was more than a joke. Phillip though, Charity held back a sob. She couldn’t even think about how Phillip was treated. But Charity had a better picture of what was going on in Phillip’s head. Charity focused back on Sue.

  
“You have children?” Charity asked, desperate to think about anything but a little blue eyed boy crying as he knelt in grits. Sue nodded, a deep understanding in her eyes. Sue let out a shuddering breath.

  
“Two, a boy and a girl.” She answered and Charity knew. She couldn’t explain how she knew, but she knew. The woman in front of her was Anne’s mother. But before she could say anything they arrived at her house. It was an old cream colored two story house, that needed some fixing. But it was home and it was never quiet, until that moment. The house was quiet and its usual gentleness was gone. Charity could feel that something was wrong and ran inside.

  
“Phillip!” Charity yelled as she ran inside. Sue followed her. They were nearing Phillip’s room when Charity heard the whimpering. “Phillip!” Charity bursted into the room. Phillip was huddled in the back corner of his bed, knees to his chest and his hands covering his ears. Tears stained his face as he gritted his teeth. Charity knew Phillip was a man, a young man, but a man nonetheless. Although, huddled in the corner of the bed he looked like a child. 

  
“Phillip!” Sue cried as she ran to Phillip. Phillip jumped at Sue’s touch. He looked up with glazed eyes.

  
“Anne?” Phillip asked breathlessly, then he went into a coughing fit. He covered his mouth with his arms. Sue rubbed his back while he coughed. Charity stepped forward slowly, grabbing some masks. Sue gave a subtle nod and Charity rushed over. She handed one of the masks to Sue. Sue put it on as she went back to Phillip’s side and Charity went to the front. Now that she was closer, she could see Phillip shivering like a leaf. Phillip finally stopped coughing and slumped into Sue’s arms. “It’s cold.” Phillip slurred softly.

  
“I know hun.” Sue whispered. “Just sleep.” Phillip shook his head.

  
“Anne, I got to get Anne.” He panted. Charity grabbed his hand.

  
“She’s safe, Phillip. She’s at the Circus.” Charity said as she squeezed his hand. But Phillip shook his head.

  
“Fire.” Phillip wheezed. Sue grabbed the cup on the drawer next to the bed and gave him some water. He drank a little, but most of the water went down the sides of his mouth. 

  
“Phillip rest.” Charity ordered softly. Again Phillip shook his head.

  
“Anne,” Phillip moaned, breaking Charity’s heart.

  
“If you don’t rest Phillip, I’m gonna have to give you some special tea.” Sue said sternly.

  
“I don’t like that tea.” Phillip whined. Charity let a small smile come onto her face at Phillip’s petulant pout.

  
“And I don’t like you not gettin’ any rest.” Sue chided. Phillip nodded and closed his glazed eyes. He laid his head against Sue’s shoulder and went to sleep instantly. “We’ll take care of ya, my little Pip.” Sue whispered in his ear. Charity gave one more squeeze to Phillip’s hand.

  
“Yes we will.” To Charity, Phillip wasn’t a disgrace or a scandal. He was her son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this as realistic as possible. Sorry if it’s not and sorry about any grammatical errors. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 6: King of Conventional

**Phineas POV**  
Phineas let out a little sigh. The girls were finally asleep. Caroline was leaning against his shoulder and Helen’s head was on his lap. Anne was fiddling with her hands and W.D. was watching her, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Phineas was impressed by how focused Anne was on the performance, despite her obvious worry for Phillip. Phineas remembered seeing Anne let out a few tears when Lettie hugged her. Then it was showtime and there was no trace of tears. If Phineas didn’t know any better, he would’ve believed everything was fine. The show went well, the audience loved it, and the girls had so much fun that they tired themselves out running around trying to talk to everyone. It should’ve been a perfect night but there was something missing. Phineas could see it every time the girls looked around to ask a question, he could hear it as some of the audience whispered at the sight of him, how the performers gaped before calling him. Phillip was missing. It was eye opening for everyone. There may not have been any problems tonight, but Phillip had made sure there wasn’t beforehand. He had general itineraries, made sure that backstage was a bit controlled with designated areas for the props and performers. Phineas was grateful for the extra measures, but it was a constant reminder of how Phillip was not there. Phineas let out another sigh.

  
“He’s gonna be fine.” Anne’s sure voice seemed to ring in the carriage. Phineas glimpsed at Anne. She was fiddling with her hands still, but her mouth was set in a firm line. W.D. put a hand over hers. They shared a conversation without words. So Phineas let out a huff of relief when Anne spoke. “I know he’ll make it through. Heck, he’s run through fire. A cold ain’t gonna take him.” Anne stated. Then her eyes watered a bit. “I worry about what he’s been keepin’ from me. I’m worried about what he wants.” Anne spoke softly and glanced back out the window. W.D. pursed his lips and glared at the ground. Phineas opted to look at his little girls. For once he was not sure of what to say. He was thankful to see the warm lights illuminating the green shingles of the house and basking the cream paint in a soft glow. He realized that the mansion he bought was big and luxury, but it didn’t say home like this modest two story house did. Anne went to get out but W.D. stopped her. There was a careful look in his eyes. Phineas cleared his throat.

  
“You guys can go in and change.” Phineas offered.

  
“Thank you.” Anne said quickly before she jumped out of the carriage. W.D. nodded before leaving after her. Phineas let out a soft chuckle and shook his head.

“Girls, we’re home.” Phineas nudged the girls. Caroline rubbed her eyes and smiled softly at the view. Helen snuggled closer to Phineas.

  
“Daddy, carry me.” Helen’s voice was muffled by sleep and Phineas’ red coat. Phineas chuckled and picked her up. He bent out of the carriage slowly, making sure that his hold on Helen was secure. Once he was out he held his hand out for Caroline. She took it and jumped out of the carriage. She turned looking for something before a frown came onto her face.

“What is it Caroline?”

  
“Daddy, can we see Phillip, please?” Caroline begged, squeezing his hand and his heart.

  
“Yeah Daddy. We gotta tell him goodnight.” Helen yawned. Phillip let out another chuckle. The girls tried to see and talk to Phillip everyday since they found out he was sick.

  
“Of course, little nurses. Let’s go.” Phineas lead Caroline and carried Helen into the house and upstairs to Phillip’s room. Phineas heard two women talking, one was Charity and the other voice was deep and had a southern accent. Phineas peeked into the room and saw Charity sitting across from a thin tall dark skinned woman. Charity looked up and smiled at them.

  
“Momma!” Caroline smiled and ran to her. Charity caught her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Phineas noticed that Charity held onto Caroline a bit tighter than normal.

  
“I’m happy to see you all, as well but we have to keep quiet. Phillip is resting.” Charity nodded to Phillip laying on the bed on the other side of the room. His breathing was still shallow and loud, his skin pale and clammy, but he seemed more at peace.

  
“He looks better.” Helen yawned. Charity smiled and kissed her cheek.

  
“Thanks to you my little nurse.” Charity put a loose hair behind Helen’s ear. Helen smiled back until she glanced behind Charity.

  
“Who’s that momma?” Helen pointed to the woman now standing as she dusted off her dress.

  
“This is Miss Sue, she took care of Phillip when he was little, like you two.” Charity explained, tickling the girls’ sides. Charity turned to Sue. “Sue, this is my husband Phineas,” Charity gestured to Phineas and he held out his hand.

  
“P.T. Barnum at your service.” Phineas gave Sue a smile.

  
“You truly are as charming as a fox, Mister Barnum.” Phineas could tell that Sue was hiding a smirk since her eyes sparkled with mischief. A lot like Anne’s did when she did a stunt.

  
“Guilty.” Phineas smirked and he saw Charity shaking her head.

  
“And these lovely ladies are my two little girls. Caroline the dancer,” Charity pulled Caroline a little closer and Caroline giggled. “And Helen.” Charity said as she caressed Helen. Helen looked at Sue.

  
“You look like Anne.” Helen mumbled. Caroline gazed at Sue.

  
“You are as pretty as her too.” Caroline observed. Phineas saw more similarities between Sue and Anne in the sheepish smile Sue gave.

  
“Thank you kindly Little Miss.” Sue said quietly.

  
“Can you fly like her too?” Caroline asked curiously. Phineas chuckled quietly, for Helen was snoring softly against his shoulder again. Sue opened her mouth, but then she was gaping at something behind them. Phineas turned to see Anne standing in the doorway with a light green shawl around her shoulders, in a long cream cotton nightgown, and no shoes. Her curls were free and down, but they didn’t hide her watery eyes.

  
“Momma?” Anne gasped.

  
“Annelise?” Phineas barely had time to move before Sue was running past him.

“Annelise!” Sue cried joyfully.

“Momma!” Anne cried as Sue hugged her. Anne pulled Sue to her, fisting Sue’s black dress as she sobbed in her shoulder. Sue gave Anne kisses on her forehead and threaded her hands through Anne’s loose hair, a genuine smile on her face. W.D. quickly entered the room, fear on his face. Phineas watched in wonder as that fear became awe and disbelief. Sue looked up from Anne and her smile grew at seeing W.D.

  
“Wilbur.” Sue said softly. She opened her other arm and W.D. stumbled into it. He wrapped his arms around Anne and Sue. Phineas could see the tension and years of troubles leave W.D. as he cried into Sue’s other shoulder. Phineas looked back, to see Charity crying as she held Caroline. Phineas looked back to Charity and motioned out the door. She nodded and followed him out of the room and past the joyous family reunion. Phineas cast one last glance at them. Sue was rocking both, Anne and W.D. as she caressed their heads. Phillip was behind them, still sleeping peacefully. Phineas smiled and closed the door.

* * *

“So when did you figure it out?” Phineas asked Charity as she came to bed in her nightgown. They had just finish tucking the girls in and were finally alone. They heard the recently reunionited Wheeler family downstairs in the sitting room.

“Figure out what?” Charity asked innocently, her eyes shining playfully. Phineas pulled her into his arms and she broke into peals of musical laughter.

  
“That Phillip’s nanny was W.D. and Anne’s mother.” Phineas whispered into her neck. He gave her a small kiss on her neck and Charity let out another laugh. She didn’t speak though, she snuggled into Phineas’ arms. Phineas concern grew. “Charity?” She sighed and held his hand.

  
“I knew the moment she said that she had a son and a daughter.” Charity’s voice was distant. “Right after she told me how Phillip had to kneel in grits for helping her.” Phineas let out a gasp and sat up.

  
“Phillip Carlyle, the man who is known to please the crowds, our king of conventional, had to kneel in grits when he was younger?” Phineas looked at Charity. There were tears in her eyes as she gripped Phineas’ hand.

  
“Phineas, I saw the little scars on his knees, they’re small, faded, and definitely not from the fire.” Tears rolled down Charity’s fair cheeks and each one pricked his heart. He kissed them away. “They did that because he was too kind. Because he forgot his place.” Phineas choked a bit, remembering the sting of the slap Charity’s father gave him. “I know that it was to show him why he had to adhere to social standards, but, but.” Charity’s breath shuddered and Phineas wrapped his arms around her. Charity cried silently, as he held her. Phineas remembered the first time he met Phillip. He saw the drunk craving to be free, the showman that needed to be more than the aristocratic playwright, the boy dying to be himself. And instead of helping Phillip, Phineas used him. Granted he helped Phillip by using him, but he didn’t see what Phillip needed. He just saw a way to use what Phillip wanted. To learn that Phillip was forced to be the king of conventional, was forced to fit in, it made Phineas’ stomach turn that he used Phillip.

  
“I would’ve never imagined him going through that.” Phineas spoke, ending the silence. Charity gave a dry chuckle.

  
“That appears to be the general response.” Charity said through her tears. Phineas wiped the rest of her tears away.

  
“Is it common to feel the need to break down the door and punch them?” Phineas said with a kiss to her cheek. Charity let out a genuine laugh, and Phineas chuckled with her.

  
“It is.” Charity smiled. Phineas saw the distant look in her eyes though. “But I feel bad for the Carlyles as well.” Phineas raised an eyebrow at her. “I know that sounds bad,”

  
“I would be worried if you didn’t.” Phineas interjected. Charity hit his hand playfully and Phineas snickered. “Sorry, sorry. Please continue.”

  
“But, his mother had so much hurt in her eyes.” Charity went back to rubbing Phineas’ hand. “To let what other people think take your own child away from you. To force him into that standard so much that he would rather be on his own with nothing before he lived with you. I could never imagine that worry, that pain, that guilt.” Charity sighed. Phineas gazed at her in wonder.

  
“I love you, my dream.” Phineas whispered before he kissed her tenderly.

  
“And I love you, Phineas.” Charity whispered against his lips before she kissed him softly. There were two little girls dreaming of mermaids and unicorns down the hall to the right. A sick king of unconventional down the hall to the left. And a family reconnecting downstairs. But right here, right now, Phineas was with Charity. The world outside could be ending, but with Charity, there would always be a million dreams to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the grammar mistakes, this is Unbeta-ed


	8. Chapter 7: You’re My Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions Harassment and Abuse. Sorry!

**Anne’s POV**  
“I have imagined this night a million times every single day.” Sue Wheeler, her mother, whispered as they sat on the floor with their backs to the couch in the sitting room and an old quilt underneath them.W.D. was sitting on their mother’s left side holding her hand. Observing it as he gently traced the new calluses and scars. “I’m fine Wilbur.” Momma said gently. “The biggest pain in my life was not having you two there.” Their mother’s eyes watered again. Anne loved how she looked the same despite the wrinkles and new dark sunspots. Her dark eyes so sincere and true, just like when she promised them that they would fly, that they would find each other. She moved her hand from W.D.’s and caressed his face. “You’ve grown up so strong, Wilbur.” Their mother beamed. W.D. leaned into the touch but he squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from flowing. He was more subtle in his affection after the sobbing hug. Anne was not, and she was not ashamed to admit that she snuggled into her mother’s right side. “And you are as pretty as a rose and as bright as a daisy.” She moved some curls away from Anne’s face with a soft smile.

  
“Where’ve you been momma?” Anne couldn’t hold the question in any longer. She knew W.D. wanted to ask too, but he was patient. Their mother sighed and leaned back onto the couch where they all were leaning back a bit more.

  
“How about tonight we each tell a story? Like we did at Old Man Hudson’s. Cause I wanna hear all about your trainin’ and how y’all got caught up with Mr.Barnum.” Anne smiled at their mother’s suggestion, a feeling of nostalgia surging through Anne. W.D. nodded enthusiastically.

  
“Can I go first?” Anne asked excitedly, moving away from her mother to look her in the eyes. Her mother lifted an eyebrow.

  
“Annelise,” Anne held in her groan. She knew that tone just like she knew her age. That was her mother’s scolding tone. “You know Wilbur goes first,”

  
“Because he was born first.” Anne finished with a pout. Her mother chuckled and kissed her cheek.

  
“Glad to see you remember.” Her mother smiled. Anne glared at a smirking W.D.  
“He never let me forget.” Anne grumbled. W.D. winked and Anne stuck her tongue out. They jumped when their mother slapped their hands lightly.

  
“Don’t start you two. You two ain’t gonna bicker on this happy night.” Their mother looked at them sternly but there was a smile on her face. Anne had to admit, a part of her always doubted if she would ever see her mother again. So to see her smile, it was like a dream and Anne was afraid to wake up. “Now what’s your story Wilbur?”

  
“Not much to tell momma.” W.D. shrugged and Anne scoffed.

  
“Yeah, not much. Your first fight when you were 12.”

  
“Fight!” Their mother cried and W.D. glared at Anne.

  
“It wasn’t that bad momma.” W.D. tried to explain but Anne was enjoying the stern look he was getting from their mother.

  
“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad, momma.” Anne smirked. W.D. was blushing and if looks could kill. Anne only felt encouraged by his stares. “It can’t be as bad as him tryin’ to court a Miss Susan Bayern.”

  
“A girl! Wilbur Dwight, am I getting grand babies soon?” Their mother smirked and nudged him playfully. W.D.’s eyes were wide as he gaped. Anne felt a little guilty for embarrassing him, just a little.

  
“Anne is seein’ Phillip Carlyle! She would give you grand babies before me.” W.D. accused, pointing a finger at Anne. Anne felt the heat on her cheeks as her mother’s focus came onto her.

  
“Annelise?” Her mother smirked knowingly. Anne fisted her hands, trying not to squirm.

  
“It’s not serious.” Anne mumbled, trying to ignore the sound of her pounding heart.

  
“Cause staying by his side for two whole days at the hospital isn’t serious.” Now W.D. was smirking and Anne was glaring.

  
“He ran into a fire for me!” Anne yelled, temporarily forgetting her company.

  
“Fire!” Her mother’s shrill voice made Anne jump. Anne bit her lip and W.D. avoid looking at their mother.

  
“There were some protesters of the Circus and they started a fight which lead to a fire. I was one of the last ones out. Phillip got worried and ran in to save me.” Anne heard her mother’s gasp and somehow she knew it was for Phillip. “P.T. ran in and got Phillip out in time. I stayed at the hospital cause I was just repayin’ him for his kindness and wanted him to promise not to do anythin’ so stupid. That’s all, Wilbur.” Anne crossed her arms, challenging her brother like they were children.

  
“That’s all.” W.D. scoffed.

  
“Yeah, that’s all. Just like all you and Susan do is practice.” Anne could tell that she won when W.D. gaped. She knew that W.D. and Susan were courting each other. She had seen them share intimate kisses a couple of times and Susan started to talk to her more. Anne liked her. Susan and her sister Helena were immigrants from Germany. They were Jewish and very religious, getting judged because they wouldn’t convert. Anne admired their dedication and knew W.D. did too, just a bit more than she did.

  
“Well, it seems like a lot has happened.” Their mother’s exasperated voice caught their attention. “Why don’t you start at the beginnin’, Wilbur.” Their mother gave Anne a pointed look and Anne looked away sheepishly.

  
“We trained with Miss Addy. She was strict but nice. The other kids didn’t like us though. We were the only colored ones. They cut up our practice clothes and stole our shoes.” Anne saw the way their mother bit her cheek and the guilt in her eyes.

  
“But Miss Addy said we were the best.” Anne added quickly. The guilt in their mother’s eyes lessened a bit. W.D. nodded.

  
“Yeah, Anne was always her favorite. But it still got bad but one of the guys, got handsy.” W.D. clenched his teeth and looked away. Anne gulped, the memory coming back to her.

  
“Handsy?” The worry in her mother’s voice almost made Anne cry again. Anne gulped down her tears

  
“He would grab me roughly, or hit me on my behind. He would whisper horrible things in my ear. One day he got me alone. He pinned me down, and tried to open my legs.” Anne fisted her trembling hands tighter. She hated thinking about that man, Eric Gills. He was a young man, with money and he knew that he owned the world. He even believed that he owned her. It was the first time she felt chained. Her mother brought her close and Anne let the tears spill. She never had the time to cry about Eric and what he tried to do. She had to keep going. Now, she was safe in her mother’s arms with her brother watching over her.

  
“I found them before he,”W.D. swallowed his anger. “Before he took it, but he was holding her so tight, she had been bruised for days. I wailed on him. Anne and Miss Addy stopped me. Anne wasn’t the only girl that guy tried stuff with so Miss Addy kicked him out. It was a hard day.” W.D. grumbled and Anne nodded in agreement. Anne relaxed when her mother pulled her in closer and kissed her forehead and kissed W.D.’s cheek.

  
“You two survived, and I’m so sorry that you had to experience the world like that.” Anne felt the tears their mother cried. Anne squeezed her back.

  
“But we’re together now. And since then when it was time for us to leave Miss Addy, she couldn’t get jobs for us. So we traveled a bit, finding jobs wherever we could. Anne even worked as a cleaning lady. That’s where we met Fred. An elderly man that let us live with him till we got a job at the Circus.” W.D. changed the subject and Anne was glad for it. “Met P.T., the Barnums, and the other performers that are our family. I even helped O’Malley, a thief turned magician, and Prince Constantine, a man full of tattoos, pull a prank by filling another certain performers pillow with cream.” W.D. finished with a wink to Anne. Anne sat up quickly, wiping her tears away roughly.

  
“I knew you helped.” Anne grabbed a pillow and threw it at a chuckling W.D.  
“Annelise!”Anne froze mid throw at her mother's stern voice.

  
“He put cream in my pillow and it got all over Lettie, Namia, and Kelly. And my hair had cream in it all weekend!” Anne huffed. She was glad to see that her mother turned her glare to W.D.

  
“Did you really cause that big mess Wilbur Dwight?” Anne covered her mouth to hide her smile. She really missed her mother.

  
“Momma,” W.D. gawked but their mother slapped his shoulder. “OW!”

  
“Don’t you momma me, Wilbur Dwight. You know better!” W.D. shrank away from the scolding but he didn’t go far. “A lady is always treated with respect.”

  
“Yes mam.” W.D. muttered and Anne couldn’t stop a short snort from escaping her mouth. Then she had two glares on her.

  
“It’s been a while since you’ve acted like a kid.” Anne tried playing it cool but she knew the weight and honesty of her words were no laughing matter. A pensive silence filled the room. Almost 12 years had gone by. Anne and W.D. weren’t children anymore. They survived so many things and somehow found friends, family, maybe even love. Now they found their mother, and tonight was going great. But will still be that way tomorrow and the next day despite the time that has passed and the changes they all have gone through. Anne cleared her throat, tired of the silence. “So what have you been up to momma?” Anne offered up as a conversation starter. Her mother sighed and Anne noticed her glance upstairs.

  
“You guys heard the letter that Phillip’s parent sent?” Anne and W.D. nodded. Anne couldn't forget the letter if she tried. The night she heard the letter she spent the night in Phillip’s room. The letter made a pit of fear and guilt in her stomach. Phillip lost everything because of her, and she could never replace what he had. “I’m the Sue in the letter.” Anne felt her eyes widened.

  
“You’re Sue? The one Phillip was paying to free?” Anne felt her heart swell when her mother nodded.

  
“Miss Addy knew the Carlyles. They were business people and liked to travel or go to parties with other upper class people. One day, Phillip was alone at the house while his parents were at one of those parties. Phillip saw that a cat was stuck in a tree by the house. So he climbed up the house, which is about twice as tall as this house, to get the cat. His parents caught him as he was coming down, his shirt had got caught in the branches. Then they found out that he snuck away from his tutors by climbin’ the house and hidin’ in trees.” Anne let out a laugh. When she saw Phillip climb the balcony to get to her when they had the building, she knew Phillip was an expert climber. Although she didn’t expect the reason for him being such an expert climber was because he didn’t like his lessons.

  
“P.T. would love that story.” W.D. nodded in agreement with Anne, a smile on his face.

  
“I’ll tell him.” Their mother chuckled. “So the Carlyles decided they needed a nanny or some help. Miss Addy recommended me and thankfully the Carlyles couldn’t afford to be rude so I got the job.” Their mother shrugged and Anne felt something deep in her gut.

  
“You worked for Phillip Carlyle?” W.D. asked warily. Anne held her breath. She was afraid of the answer. She didn’t want to hear how Phillip really saw her people, saw her.

  
“I worked for the Carlyles but I raised Phillip.” Her mother’s stern voice settled the tension in Anne’s gut. “And before you go thinkin’ bad about that boy understand that why he had some things easy, other things were bad.” The way her mother said bad made Anne’s heart clench.

  
“We know, momma. Everyone’s got scars.” W.D. exasperated. Their mother shook her head.

  
“Not just scars Wilbur. They have stories, issues, pains.” The anguish in her mother’s eyes tore Anne’s heart.

  
“What happened, momma?” Anne asked, not even sure she was ready to hear what her mother would say.

  
“When a boy learns to drink to numb pain at ten years old, that is sad.” Her mother said looking up at the stairs sadly. Anne couldn’t silence her gasp. Everyone knew of Phillip’s drinking. When he first started, every performer noted how the stench of alcohol followed Phillip. When Phineas left, the stench lessened and Anne could smell him. Something like fresh plants and sunshine. To find out that he started drowning that sweet and hopeful smell at the age of ten, it broke her heart into pieces.

  
“H-how? Why?” Anne gasped out, trying to get her breathe back. W.D. and her mother were staring at her, but Anne couldn’t stop the tears or the sudden emotions overwhelming her. She stood up.

  
“Anne.” W.D. tried to calm her, even going as far as reaching for her hand but she pulled it back. Anne was too riled up.

  
“Don’t, W.D. Unless you can tell me how and why a ten year old starts drinkin’ then I may calm down.” Anne stated harshly.

  
“Annelise.” Her mother’s stern voice made everything in Anne freeze. Anne glared at her. Despite her stern voice, her mother’s eyes were kind and full of understanding. Her mother opened her arms and that doubt of what would happen afterward disappeared. Anne crumpled into her mother’s arms, once again, and cried.

  
“He was ten momma! No ten year old, a child, should be drinkin’. How could they let him do that? Why would they let him do that?” Anne cried. She felt her mother kiss the top of her forehead.

  
“They didn’t know until he got so drunk that he started dancing on a table.” Anne let out a watery chuckle.

  
“Sounds like him.” She said quietly. Her mother nodded and pulled W.D. in to join them. He leaned against her and Anne smiled knowingly at him. Despite his subtlety, he loved, missed, and needed their mother just as much as she did.

  
“Phillip tried so hard to please his father. Wanted to be just like him. So when we played a game, Phillip got into his father’s office. He found some whiskey, but broke some vase. He, he got punished and it, it was really bad. He got hurt.” Anne gripped her mother’s dress tight, stopping her story.

  
“By his father.” Anne stated, the nod her mother gave made Anne’s stomach sink.

  
“He was so mad, the vase was a gift from some rich person. Phillip took his hits, but his father blamed me as well and hit me.” Anne felt W.D.’s hold on them tighten. Their mother patted his hand. “I’m okay Wilbur. His words hurt more than the hits. But Phillip, God Phillip, tried to be brave and stepped between us.” Her mother took a shuddering breath. “He got hit and crumpled to the floor. His father stopped and his parents just left him lyin’ on the floor. Sayin’ that he needed to learn how to pick himself up like a man. He didn’t even look at me as he grabbed the whiskey and ran.” Anne could feel her own tears and her mother’s. She glanced at W.D. to see that his eyes were watery too. “ When I found Phillip, his eye was swollen shut and he was dancing on his bed, some of the whiskey gone. He was spillin’ it all over his bed but he didn’t care. He was pain free, or that’s what I think he said. At that time he was a lightweight drunk.” Her mother tried to end lightheartedly but it only added to the tense atmosphere. “But,” Her mother sighed, her voice lighter. “Besides his drinkin’ and his knack for trouble, Phillip was an easy boy to take care of and his parents were better than Old Man Hudson. They at least called me by my name.” Her mother chuckled and Anne smiled. The chuckle ended in a long yawn. W.D. followed suit. “Bed time!” Her mother dragged them down, making the air light again. They all began to laugh. The torrent of emotions in Anne somewhat calm. “Goodnight my Annelise and Wilbur Dwight.” Her mother kissed their foreheads.

  
“Goodnight Momma.” W.D. yawned before rolling around. It didn’t take long for Anne to hear his snores.

  
“Annelise dear,” Anne looked to see her mother gently move some curls away from her eyes. Her mother’s eyes were full of concern. “Please get some rest.”

  
“Will do, momma.” Anne whispered. Her mother gazed at her, but soon her eyes closed. Anne tried following suit, but her mind was too busy processing everything. She knew that Phillip couldn’t understand the hardships, pain, and hate she experienced in life. But she forgot that he may have had some of his own. She wasn’t even as curious as Phillip. He tried to get to know everything about her. Whether it was how she practiced or each scar on her body, he wanted to know everything. And she pulled away, fearing his reaction to how weak she actually was. Yes, she appeared confident and so sure in herself, especially when she was in the air, but even cliffs change over time because of harsh waters. But now, as she stared at her mother, she could not pull away. She had to face the truth. She was broken, and so was Phillip. She had issues, but so did Phillip. They were broken to fit together. They were destined for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any grammar mistakes and tears if you shedded any. But please leave kudos or comments!


	9. Chapter 8: Good To Do Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Implied Child Abuse

**Phillip’s POV**

Phillip was in total darkness. He was swimming in it, not even able to see his own hand. It was cold and it made his bones shiver, or maybe it was loneliness that made him shiver. The silence of the darkness reminded him of his white room at the Carlyle house. The room he stayed in by himself for days, until he was deemed healthy enough to leave. Days talking to masked faces, not able to touch them. Suddenly, a hot bright white spotlight came on over him. That’s when he saw the chains. They were wrapped around his ankles, like a tether. He could only go the distance of the spotlight. Phillip’s breath quicken. It was warm under the spotlight. Phillip felt exposed and vulnerable, despite himself being fully clothed. Those snobbish judging eyes were glaring at him through the darkness. He knew it. Phillip tugged on the chain trying to yank it off. He saw that Carlyle was embedded in the shackle around his ankle. Dread filled Phillip as it grew hotter around him.

“Phillip,” Anne’s voice echoed in the darkness, erasing his dread. He turned around looking for her. But the darkness made it impossible to see her. “Phillip,” Anne called again, but it was clearer this time. A shadow came over Phillip. It wasn’t as cold as the darkness, yet it block out some of the heat from the light.

“Anne?” Phillip felt like he drank ashes, but he loved saying her name.

“I’m here Phillip,” Phillip looked up to see that Anne was closer, hanging in her hoop. “I’m right here.” She was gliding down to him, and to the growing heat around him. She would burn with him.

“Anne,” Phillip’s weak voice was still raw and the smoke that was rising around the edge of the spotlight was suffocating him. 

“I’m here Phillip.” Now Anne was on the ground, caressing his face. Phillip thought she must’ve really been an angel. She was unaffected by anything around her. “We all are.” Behind her, past the spotlight and the darkness was a modest two story house. No it wasn’t a house, it was a home.

“Phillip, honey, please wake up. The girls miss you.” Charity’s voice was in the home, but it was clear and so near despite the home being so far. 

“Yeah Phillip! The doctor says you need to get up!” Helen was there too, his little sister. 

“He’ll wake up, that boy is more bullheaded than an ox.” Phillip gaped at the voice.

“Sue.” Philip grounded out. His throat was burning from the smoke, but she was at the home too. He had to get to the home, to his friends, to his real family.

“Yes, Phillip. Come on Phillip. Come back to us, to me.” Anne held out her hand. Phillip took it and they started their way to the home. Until a fire around the spotlight started and his chain tightened, stopping him.

“Phillip!” Phillip turned and saw his parents in the spotlight. “You are a Carlyle. You cannot let yourself be treated like one of them, like the help.” His parents were staring behind him, hate in their eyes. Phillip looked towards Anne. She was near the fire, so close. But she wasn’t focused on the fire or his parents, she was focused on him her hand still out. 

“Phillip.” Anne whispered, her dark soulful eyes shining with tears and her wild curls cascading down. “Phillip, you are my destiny.” A tear ran down Anne’s face. Phillip ran to her but his chain yanked him back and the fire roared.

“Anne!” Phillip looked to where she was, but she was gone. A wall of fire stood in her place.

“Don’t let them fool you son.” Phillip turned towards his father. They stood in the middle of the spotlight on top of his chain. There wasn’t a wall of fire behind them either. “Your name is your identity. And the Carlyle name comes with wealth and that wealth comes with standards. Standards that you must uphold!” His father kept lecturing him but he had already tuned him out. Phillip knew it would be easier to just go to them and stay under the spotlight. 

“Phillip.” Anne whispered behind him. Phillip turned towards her voice but he only saw the wall of fire. He knew that Anne was behind it, that the dream home was behind it. He could hear the voices of Anne, Sue, the Barnum family, Lettie, and the other Circus members through the roaring of the fire and John Carlyle’s lecture. It was faint and maybe not really there, but it had to be better than being chained. He just had to get through the fire. He started to move forward but the chain around his ankle shook. 

“The only thing of value that you have is your name!” John Carlyle yelled. Phillip smirked as he bent down and broke the shackle around his ankle. He bolted through the fire. It burned, but it was familiar. He had done this before, and as the image of Anne and a tent filled with amazingly unique people came into mind, Phillip realized that he would do it again and again. He would go through any pain, any hatred, as long as he could have Anne and their family by his side. That’s all he needed.

Phillip opened his eyes slowly. It was bright but not too bright, just colorful. His throat burned and his body was sore. He felt sweaty and dirty, despite the fact that he was laying in bed. He moved his hands first, noticing the familiar hand in them. He noticed a familiar weight on his body too. He gazed down to see Anne laying her head on his legs and holding his hand in hers. She was in her light green floral shawl and a blue house gown. Her hair was up in a loose bun so some strands were sticking out. She looked uncomfortable but beautiful. Phillip squeezed her hand. Her eyes fluttered open. He saw the redness in them, and while they shined with happiness there was a wariness in them. 

“Phillip, you’re up.” Anne whispered squeezing his hand back. Phillip tried to say something but his throat burned when he tried and a raspy gasp came out. Anne immediately went to his side and helped him sit up while he coughed. The soreness increased from coughing. The only thought going through his head was how much he hated being sick. When he was done Anne had a cup in her hand for him. “Here, drink this.” He took it and controlled himself to take slow sips. “I guess since you’re not gulpin’ it down, you’re really up.” Phillip froze at Anne’s weird observation.

“How,” Phillip cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the rasp in his voice. “How long have I not been up?” The rasp didn’t go away but the pain did. Anne bit her lip and grabbed his hand. The soothing circles she was rubbing into his hand calmed him and worried him. “What is it?”

“You’ve been out for six days.” Anne said quietly. Phillip felt a shiver go down his spine. He thought he would be down for three days at most. Six days was the one of the longest times he’s ever been sick.

“That’s,” Phillip gaped trying to find something to say. “I’m so-“

“If you so much as whisper the word sorry Phillip Bailey Carlyle, you’ll be getting two doses of your medicine.” Phillip would have adored Anne’s cute threat but he was thrown off by his full name.

“How do you know my middle name?” Phillip lost his breath as a gentle but genuine smile lit up Anne’s face.

“Momma told me.” Phillip furrowed his eyebrows at Anne’s smile. Her smile grew. “You know her as Sue.” Phillip felt his eyes widened as he saw it all. The little reminders in the way Anne smiled, her nervous habit of fisting her hands, her eyes, all of those came from Sue. Phillip let out a laugh that turned into a cough. Anne rubbed his back till the fit calmed down.

“Figures.” Phillip gasped, finally able to catch his breath. “The two most important and beautiful women in my life are related. I must have Lady Luck on my side too.” Anne rolled her eyes but he saw her smile turn sheepish.

“That’s why you’ve been in bed dazed and practically out of your mind these past six days.” Anne huffed. 

“Yep, and you’re right here with me.” Phillip remembered the aching loneliness from his youth. How he wished someone would be with him and hold his hand when he was sick. When he was younger, Sue was there to fulfill that wish. Now it was her daughter. Phillip almost let out another laugh at the irony. 

“How is it that even when you’re sicker than a dog, your tongue is still slicker than silver?” Anne asked, her playful nature shining. 

“My charm I guess.” Phillip shrugged and Anne hit his shoulder lightly as she giggled. Phillip joined in until it brought a coughing fit on. That brought back Phillip’s previous worries. “Is everyone alright?” Phillip said after he was done coughing. 

“What?” Anne gaped. Phillip felt his throat constrict. He tried pulling the collar on his shirt and cleared his throat. It helped, a little.

“Is everyone alright? Did anyone else get sick? Is Phineas doing okay with the Circus? When I started to get sick I set everything up-“

“Wait.” Anne held up her hand, making Phillip freeze. “You knew you were gonna to be sick?” The fiery glare from Anne almost choked him.

“Umm, yes.” Phillip answered softly. Then Anne stood up and began pacing.

“Damnit Phillip!!!” Anne yelled and Phillip felt his eyes widened. He clutched the blanket tighter as Anne lectured him. “You promised me Phillip. You promised me that after the fire that you would talk to me about your health. You know I hate not knowing how you feel.” Anne was looking at him, and he knew she wanted an answer but his body shut down. It always did when people yelled at him. Memories of words he rather forget started to trickle into his mind. He needed a drink, but Anne was here and she was just telling him her feelings. He could get through this. Phillip took a couple of deep breaths through his nose.

“This was different Anne. The burns and their effects were new. I needed help because I didn’t know what I was doing. But I always get sick, not as long but it’s still the same soreness and pain. Speaking of, why are you here?” Phillip asked, trying to change the subject. Anne crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t want me here?” Anne’s sass was clearly evident and Phillip practically melted from it.

“Yes, no, I mean,” Phillip shook his head trying to get his mind off of the way Anne’s eyes were dark fires, the way her kissable lips pursed perfectly, or how her hip jutted out. “Usually I’m put in a room by myself for like a week.” Anne’s demeanor soften.

“What are you talking about?” Anne whispered quietly. Now Phillip was raising an eyebrow.

“Well my parents or the school would put me in a separate room until I was better. Only doctors and servants were allowed in for a short period.” Phillip was a bit shocked when Anne sat down. Granted, she did it slowly.

“So you spent a week alone if you were sick?” Phillip noticed the pain in Anne’s voice.

“Yeah, that’s how everyone stays safe from whatever I had. That was the procedure.” Phillip said simply. If he went by her sad gaze it wasn’t that simple.

“You were alone a lot.” She stated as her gaze landed back on his hand. Specifically his wrist, where there were faint dark marks from times he needed to forget. Phillip pulled his hand away from Anne’s, trying to ignore the pain in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Phillip shrugged as he covered his wrist. “Well, getting sick every Winter and having parents with important social lives isn’t the most, colorful lifestyle, but I had Sue. She was as colorful as you.” Phillip chuckled at his own joke. Anne didn’t join in. In fact she glared at him. Just like the night they did Lettie’s favorite song.

“Being in bed with a fever for six days ain’t a joke. Nor is being disowned and homeless.” He heard Anne’s stern voice but it felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped all over him.

“Wh-what?” Phillip stuttered, not even sure he wanted to know what Anne was talking about. Anne sat up straighter.

“We saw the letter and the notice Phillip. Why didn’t you tell us?” Phillip felt his stomach drop at the word us. Other people knew, maybe they all knew.

“H-How do you even know about that?” Phillip felt an irrational anger build up in him.

“We found the papers on your desk.” Anne was glaring at him, as if he meant to leave those papers on his desk for them to find. As if he wanted to get sick.

“You shouldn’t have looked through my stuff.” Phillip’s growl was raspy and low, but Anne didn’t seem afraid.

“You should have told us that you were sick.” Anne retorted back.

“I can handle myself.” Of all people, Phillip thought Anne would understand his need for independence.

“Is that why you were in bed with a fever for six days? Or are you talking about the fact that you live in an office as big as this room?” Phillip fisted his hands at Anne’s sarcasm. He closed his eyes as adrenaline rushed through him. He took a few calming breaths as memories of nights full of anger came back to him.

“It wasn’t your guys problem.” Phillip grounded out.

“Not our problem! You’re our problem.” Anne threw her hands in his general direction and Phillip flinched. His anger all gone at that one statement. “You act brave and do stupid things like run into a fire and work yourself to the bone.” He stared at the irritate and pacing Anne. He knew she wouldn’t hit him and that she was saying something else other than he was the problem, he was the humiliation, he was the disgrace, but all he saw was anger. Anger that meant he was wrong and needed to be punished. Anger that said he was weak. Anger that made him feel like a kid again. SNAP! Phillip jumped back hitting the headboard hard. He grimaced and curled up in pain, coughing. “Phillip!” Anne’s yelp helped clear his head. 

“Sorry,” Phillip wheezed. The burns on his back stung from the slam to the headboard. The hit also made him go into another coughing fit, which made his chest ache so much more. The wheeze was a miracle in itself.

“Phillip!” Phillip glanced up at Sue’s sudden appearance at the door of the room, but grateful for the distraction. 

“Sue.” Phillip winced at the wheeziness of his voice.

“What happened?” Sue moved next to Anne. With both of their similar dark eyes full of worry, their similar angular noses, the same fair skin, and their tall but graceful statures, Phillip was surprised he didn’t make the connections before. Granted, there was something enchanting about Anne that always left him speechless and brainless. Even now with her hair everywhere and her eyes watery, he couldn’t find anything to say. Or maybe he was still frozen from, before. 

“We were arguing and I guess I scared him and he jumped into the headboard.” They were leaning towards him, Sue in front of Anne. Sue let out a little sigh.

“Can you go get him some more water Annelise?” That got Phillip moving.

“No.” Phillip reached for Anne, barely catching her hand. He didn’t want her to leave with the last thing on her mind being their argument. She squeezed his hand and gave him a watery smile but Phillip saw anguish lurking in her eyes.

“You need water Phillip.” She said with that smile and anguish. Phillip shook his head, because his throat did hurt but he needed her to stay. “You’re still wheezing.” Anne’s statement rang a bell in Phillip’s head. He let her go  and she began walking away. When she was near the door he cleared his throat.

“I wanted to keep  you smiling.” Phillip whispered. Anne stopped and turned back around staring at him, the anguish so clear in her eyes. 

“What?” Anne asked softly. Phillip cleared his throat again.

“I’m sorry.” Phillip rasped out louder. “I just wanted to keep you smiling, and, and not worry about, us. I was scared.” Phillip offered. Anne’s eyes widened in what Phillip hoped was understanding, before she nodded and left. Fear entered Phillip’s heart once more. 

“She’s comin’ back Pip.” Phillip looked at Sue, his heart tugging at the old nickname she gave him. She patted his hand. “Don’t you worry one bit about her. She will come back. I saw it in her eyes. Plus, she would practically spend every wakin’ minute with you. I barely had a chance to talk to her and I’m her mother she hasn’t seen in a long time.” Sue chuckled and Phillip was able to smile back.

“But you guys have been talking?” Phillip asked warily. It was great for Anne and Sue, he wasn’t so sure if it was great for him. Sue knew him, and his embarrassing moments.

“Oh sure we did. We catched up and I am surprised that no one here knows about your green thumb.” Phillip blanched at Sue’s little smirk.

“You didn’t tell her the skunk story, did you?” Phillip was begged for a no but the wide smile on Sue’s face was definitely not what he was looking for.

“I told her, W.D., the Barnum family, and a few of those Circus fellas you know.” Sue laughed at Phillip’s groan. He covered his eyes dramatically, hoping it would make the image of everyone laughing at his epic fails disappear.

“That wasn’t the only story you told, was it?” Phillip knew Sue more than he did his own mother. So he wasn’t surprised at the playful hit on his shoulder.

“Of course not! I told them about the first time I met you, how you got me this job, and the time you danced on the table at dinner.” Phillip let out another groan as Sue listed the stories. Her laugh turned into a cackle.

“You know they’re going to hold this over me till the day I die!” Philllip grumbled as he peeked at her from behind his hands. 

“As they should.” Sue poked his stomach lightly at every word. “Consider that as punishment for not tellin’ me or anyone else about you bein’ sick.” Phillip let his hands down and looked away from Sue. 

“I didn’t expect it to be that bad.” Phillip mumbled. He heard Sue’s sigh.

“You still should’ve told someone. You don’t have to lock yourself away anymore. These people would never do that to you.” Sue’s words hit a chord with Phillip. He felt his hand reach for the normal flask that would be at his hip. Sue grabbed his hand and shame washed over Phillip. “Pip.” Phillip ignored the call. “Pip, look at me.” Phillip loved that name because it reminded him of the time he taught Sue how to read with the book  _ The Great Expectations,  _ but he hated how in times like these he couldn’t ignore it. Phillip looked to Sue, her dark eyes still watery. “You have got to face what they did to you. You can’t keep that pain buried inside and drownin’ it with drinks.”

“It works.” Phillip rebutted childishly. “Plus, others had it worse. You know that. I’m fine.” Philip pulled his hand out of Sue’s and fisted it into his own. He never told someone about his punishments and planned never to tell anyone.

“When I told everyone what happened after the stories, they were all in tears.” Phillip felt like ice had gone down his back. He whipped his head to Sue.

“You told them!” Phillip screeched. Sue’s eyes were hard as she nodded. “Why?” Phillip choked the question out. Sue seemed unmoved.

“I know you Phillip. I know that you would rather drown yourself in whiskey, then tell people about those nights.” Phillip  clenched his jaw and looked away, hating the truth she spoke. “Look at me, Pip.” Phillip obeyed the command. “The moment I saw Misses Charity at the house, I knew she didn’t know. My daughter, who everyone’s tellin’ me you’re over the moon for, begged me to tell her what happened to you. This ain’t some little tidbit you can keep from them. They care about ya. They need to know.” Phillip felt another surge of anger.

“No one else shares all their stories of how they got hurt.” Phillip growled.

“So what they do determines what you do?” Sue challenged back.

“No, but they still don’t need to know.” Phillip’s eyes started looking for anything to drink. From the corner of his eye he saw Sue crossing her arms.

“Why don’t they need need to know?” Sue challenged again and it pushed Phillip over the edge.

“Because they don’t need more proof that I am weak!” Phillip’s voice lacked the screech but it seemed to ring in the room, but he couldn’t stop. “They don’t need more proof that I’m coward. I can’t even deal with his father. They’ve dealt with people like him all of their lives, even now.” Phillip felt himself get animated despite the soreness of his body. “I see how some of them go out and the same people that cheer them on one night, sneer at them in daylight. Yeah, I ran into a fire for Anne, but I see how they wonder if that was a one time thing, especially after the incident at the bar a few weeks ago. They said I couldn’t understand them, and they left. What’s worse is that it’s true. I could never understand them, even with the few nights of anger a year. And if I told them what happened those nights, it would only show how I am too weak and too much of a coward without a drink to stand by them. But I’m not. I’m not.” Phillip felt the tears start going down his face, but somehow his heart felt lighter. Sue got in the bed next to him and pulled him to her chest. She carded her fingers through his hair as his tears came down.

“Oh my little Pip.” Sue’s comforting voice made Phillip hug Sue back. He burrowed his head into her neck and she moved them to be more comfortable. Later he would have to deal with the fact that everyone knew most of his secrets, but now he felt safe with Sue carding her fingers through his hair. He was, okay, even good. Phillip closed his eyes, tears still falling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if anyone is too OOC. And I did research how people dealt with illnesses back in the 1800's and they did keep people in separate rooms or had them wear signs. Also, Great Expectations was first published in 1850! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	10. Chapter 9: A Vision of the One I See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too lazy to write a full Fairytale AU so I snuck a couple in here. Also I love the Barnum girls and since dancergrl1 wanted more sick Phillip, here you go!

**Helen & Caroline’s POV**

“Well, if you say you’re okay, then goodnight Pip.” Caroline peeked out the door to see Miss Sue go out the door leading to Phillip’s room.

“Is she-”

“Shhh!” Caroline shushed her sister quickly. Sue stopped. Helen quickly pulled Caroline back, just as Miss Sue turned around. Helen and Caroline stood frozen waiting for the candlelight in the hall to fade. Even as a precaution they held their breath. When the candlelight in the hall disappeared, the girls gasped in relief. 

“I thought she would never leave!” Helen whispered loudly as she glanced out the door. Caroline rolled her eyes.

“Come on.” Caroline opened the door and began tiptoeing to Phillip’s room, papers in both of their hands. Helen followed, but she accidently stepped on a squeaky floorboard. Caroline glared back at her. Helen shrugged.

“Not everyone is a light dancer.” Caroline rolled her eyes at her remark. They continued their way to Phillip’s room. They made it and looked up at the door. Everyone told them to enter the room with caution. Even now that he was awake, they were only allowed to see him for a few minutes at a time. They missed him, and his story time with them. He did it when their Daddy was gone on tour, and even when he came for work. He always made time for them, and he always had candy or some sweet to give them. He was their big brother, and they missed him. Caroline pushed up the door. The candle to the room was still lit and sat on the nightstand. Phillip was laying in the bed and staring at the door.

“Caroline,” Phillip wheezed. Caroline hated hearing Phillip’s voice so weak. His voice was always bright.

“Hi.” Caroline whispered. Caroline was touched and a bit annoyed by the concern in his eyes. 

“Phillip!” Helen pushed past Caroline and ran to Phillip. Caroline glared at Helen, but she ignored her. Helen jumped into bed with Phillip and tried to hug him but he scooted back.

“Helen? What-” A coughing fit interrupted Phillip and Helen immediately got off of him. She got him a cup of water as Caroline began rubbing his back like they saw their mother and Miss Sue do. Phillip was over the coughing fit soon and drank the water slowly. When he was done he took a deep breath and looked at them. “What are you doing here girls? You shouldn’t be here.” Phillip chided in his raspy voice.

“But we needed story time.” Helen pouted, hoping it would work like it usually did. Phillip’s eyes soften a bit, then they hardened.

“No, you guys should go. Both of you could get sick too.” Phillip pleaded. Helen and Caroline heard about puppy eyes, but they never saw it till now. They looked at each other, guilt making them bite their lips.

“They’re fine, Phillip.” The girls and Phillip jumped at their mom’s voice. They all looked back at her with big eyes. “The doctor cleared you for visitors today.” She informed.

“You sure?” Phillip asked warily. Helen and Caroline bit their lip. His resolve was breaking.

“Of course!” The girls smiled as their dad came next to their mom in a loose shirt and pants. “Honestly, I’m surprised they waited this long.” He smirked. Helen and Caroline smiled back.

“Can your father and I join you guys for story time?” Mom asked, tilting her head slightly. Helen and Caroline looked at each other and glanced at Phillip. 

“This is a matter that needs to be discussed.” Helen said in a deep voice, her formal voice. She based it off of her dad when he talked to them about the circus stuff. Helen looked back to Phillip and Caroline. “Should we let them in?” She whispered loudly.

“Our stories were just for Phillip.” Caroline whispered back.

“What stories?” Phillip whispered, sounding a bit like himself. Caroline and Helen brought out the papers they were holding. 

“We wrote stories like you.” Caroline said showing Phillip her story. “We figured that since you can’t read to us, we’ll read our own stories to you.” Caroline said with a smile. 

“And since you do it for a living, you can tell Caroline that mine is better.” Helen bragged. Caroline rolled her eyes but Phillip smiled. 

“So this is a competition?” Phillip innocently.

“No.” Caroline huffed.

“Yes!” Helen yelled at the same time. Phillip laughed, but then he went into a coughing fit. The girls’ mood became sober and they worried that they didn’t do the right thing. Helen rubbed his back and Caroline got him some water. He took it when he finished coughing.

“We can go if you’re not up to story time, Phillip.” Caroline offered sadly. Helen hugged him and nodded into his side. 

“Yeah. We just missed you and thought you would like story time too.” Helen pouted. The girls avoided Phillip’s eyes, worried that he really didn’t want them there.

“Why don’t you come up here Caroline?” Phillip patted the bed on his left side. Caroline smiled and jumped into his arms. Phillip caught her like he always did. “There’s nothing I would love more than story time with you guys.” Phillip said sincerely with a bright smile. Helen and Caroline smiled back. “And you’re parents can join if they want. They can help me judge.” Caroline and Helen nodded. Helen looked at her dad.

“Mine will be the best, right Daddy?” Helen widened her eyes and pouted her lips. Her dad smiled and shook his head. He took a seat in the chair and Mom sat in his lap.

“We’ll have to hear them first.” Dad said. Helen beamed and straightened up beside Phillip.

“I’ll go first!” Helen yelled with excitement. “Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with shining blonde hair. Her name was Helen.” Caroline chuckled, making Helen pause to glare at her. “Helen had an older sister, who doesn’t have a name in this story,” Helen took another pause to stick her tongue out at Caroline. Caroline stuck her tongue back out at Helen. Phillip chuckled.

“What happens to princess Helen?” Phillip’s question brought Helen back on track.

“Oh! Well Princess Helen’s father owned a magical kingdom full of amazing and unique people, like her best friend Lettie. She was an amazing singer with a beautiful beard. And Princess Helen’s dad ran it all in a bright red coat. Then one day a handsome man stopped by the kingdom and fell in love with everything about it especially the fairy princess Anne.” Caroline and Helen giggled at the blush on Phillip’s cheeks.

“Did she wear pink, Helen?” Caroline teased, bumping Phillip’s side.

“Blushing pink!” Helen joined in and their giggles turned into loud peals of laughter. 

“Well if you are laughing too hard to continue, I can finish the story for you.” Phillip reached for Helen’s paper but she pulled it to her chest.

“I’m telling the story, Phillip!” Helen huffed.  Helen recomposed herself dramatically. “Anyway, this handsome boy, Pip, loved the kingdom and the fairy Anne. And in return the kingdom fell in love with him. He became the best big brother Princess Helen knew. He gave her candy, lifted her up, hugged her and her unnamed sister when they missed their daddy too much, and he even told her stories of the world outside the kingdom. Princess Helen’s father decided it was time for Pip and Princess Helen, since Helen’s unnamed sister loved dancing so much, to get a red coat of their own and learn how to care for the kingdom. Philip, I mean Pip, was a natural at it! Princess Helen had a few years to go to really run the kingdom but she loved watching Pip smile and dance as he lead the kingdom. Sadly, Pip got sick. And since Princess Helen was old enough, she decided to go to Pip and this time she would bring him candy and hug him in her red coat. But Pip lived all the way over on the edge of the kingdom. It was a long journey and Helen’s mother, the beautiful queen, told her not to take the shortcut through the woods. Wolves from outside the kingdom, like the Bennett wolf,” Helen smiled when she heard her dad chuckle. She saw her mom hit him lightly on the shoulder. “Would sneak into the kingdom through the forest. So being a good girl,” 

“Yeah right!” Caroline’s snort made Helen pause to glare at her again.

“Because she was a good girl, Princess Helen didn’t go through the shortcut. But as she was along her path, she heard the howl of the Carlyle wolf! The Carlyle wolf was the meanest wolf of all. He was a human that was cursed for hurting his son. So he went around, looking for his son and he would eat anyone who would get in his way! But Princess Helen wasn’t scared of the Carlyle wolf. She knew that her kingdom and Pip would protect her. So on she went to Pip's house in her red coat. But when Princess Helen got to Pip’s house the door was open. She called for Pip and low raspy voice answered her. ‘Come in little princess.’” Helen smiled when Phillip let out a loud laugh at her wolf voice.

“Do you want me to read those lines, little Princess?” Phillip asked reaching for the paper again. Helen hit his hand lightly. “Ow!”

“I’m reading Pip!” Helen cried indignantly. “Princess Helen knew that it wasn’t Pip. But she had a magic wish maker with her. Princess Helen made a wish and went inside. In Pip’s bed was an old wolf in a suit. ‘You don’t sound too good, Pip.’ Princess Helen said. ‘I’m fine. But could you come closer dear.’ Princess Helen stepped closer to the wolf but stayed out of his reach. ‘What big eyes you have Pip.’ Princess Helen said.‘The better to see you with princess.’ The wolf answered. ‘What big ears you have.’ Princess Helen said loudly. The wolf covered his ears. ‘The better to hear you with so don’t shout.’ Princess Helen smiled at the wolf. ‘What bad breath you have!’ Princess Helen yelled and the wolf was confused until Princess Helen’s father, Lettie, and Anne burst into the house. The wolf was so frightened that it ran away with its tail between its legs!” Helen smiled when her parents chuckled. “Lettie and Princess Helen’s father worried over her, but Anne found Pip, in the basement tied up and kneeling on grits, with another fairy named Sue. Sue was the fairy for the Carlyle kingdom and she had tried to warn Pip, who was really Prince Phillip, that his father found him. But the wolf found him first and his greed made him want the Princess too. In the end, Princess Helen’s wish came true. Phillip could stay and not be afraid to say his name, Anne found her prince, and Princess Helen got to keep her family and kingdom. It was the perfect happy ending she wished for, the end.” Helen looked up, confident that everyone would love her story. Her parents were smiling at her but she could tell that something was wrong. 

“That, that was a great story Helen.” Helen noticed her dad’s stiff voice and her mom’s tight nod that followed. Helen glanced at Caroline and Caroline subtly pointed to Phillip. Helen looked to Phillip. He was sad. 

“Did you not like my story Phillip?” Phillip jumped a bit and looked to her. He tried smiling at Helen but she could still see his sadness.

“I loved it princess.” Phillip’s voice sounded thick. Helen turned her head a bit.

“Then why are you sad?” Helen grabbed his hand and when Phillip stared at it wide-eyed Helen’s eyes felt watery. She remembered hearing Mom, Dad, and Miss Sue talking about how Phillip didn’t see people when he was sick. Caroline reassured her that maybe it wasn’t true, but Helen knew it was. When she glanced at Caroline and saw her nuzzled into Phillip’s side, Helen realized that she figured the same thing to.

“Where,” Phillip cleared his thick voice. “Where did you get the idea of Pip in the basement?” Phillip still sounded tense but Helen didn’t understand why.

“You’re here but there’s no story time. So, we might have listened to Miss Sue’s stories.” Helen glanced at her parents, expecting their frowns.

“Caroline, Helen, you two cannot listen in on adult conversations.” Helen snuggled into Phillip’s side at her mom’s rebuke.Helen saw Caroline squirm. 

“We missed Phillip, momma.” Caroline mumbled as she leaned her head on Phillip’s shoulder. She heard him take a deep breath. Caroline knew that Phillip didn’t have parents like theirs. That the sadness in his eyes when they first met was deep, but it was disappearing. And when she started feeling that deep sadness from class or when her father was gone, he came and made the sadness go away. Caroline knew that deep down, Phillip had the magical ability to make people smile, just like her father. But the other day when he was sick, she saw that ability disappear and the sadness was back. She just wanted him to smile again. She wanted her brother back. Phillip pulled Caroline and Helen a bit closer.

“I missed you guys too.” Phillip said with a thick voice. He went into a coughing fit and had to get a drink of water. Caroline bit her lip.

“You should get some sleep Phillip.” Caroline said sadly. She expected him to agree with her but he smiled encouragingly at her, almost like he used to.

“We still have to listen to your story Caroline. We can’t let a good story go to waste.” He settled back down and Helen snuggled next to him. She gave Caroline an encouraging nod. Caroline glanced at her parents to see them waiting with smiles, their displeased frowns gone. Caroline cleared her throat.

“Well once upon a time, there was a prince, Prince Phillip. Phillip was very handsome and belonged to a great kingdom. The kingdom was practically perfect. It was so perfect, that Phillip’s parents made sure that Phillip was the perfect prince. He always did what he was told, because if he didn’t he would be punished. For while the kingdom looked perfect, many people were truly sad, including Prince Phillip. It was fine, Phillip would tell himself. He just felt more like a rich prisoner than a prince.” Caroline glanced at Phillip. He had that sadness in his eyes but there was a gentle smile on his face. She used the words he told them when they asked him to explain why he joined the Circus. She was glad he liked it. “So he never enjoyed his life. He wanted something more than the tall white walls of his palace. What Phillip didn’t know, was that outside his kingdom lived a magical kingdom, the Circus Kingdom. Most of Phillip’s kingdom looked down at the magical Circus people since they were not clean, rich, or perfect. The Circus Kingdom was unique. It was lead by the sensational King Barnum, and his beautiful wife. They had two daughters, Caroline the dancer and Helen the unicorn tamer.”

“Because I am,” Helen yawned. Caroline glared at her while everyone else chuckled. 

“Well, Circus was full of magical and special people. And everyday at the midnight hour, Circus ruled the night. One of the most beautiful people of Circus was the fairy, Anne. She and her brother would fly across the sky as King Barnum lead them through the streets during their hour, dancing to Lettie’s, the singing butterfly, song. But outside of that hour the other kingdom hated the Circus Kingdom. Calling them freaks and peanut lovers. Well one day, when King Barnum, with his power of luck, decided to call for a truce between the two kingdoms, Anne and a few others, went to show the other kingdom the joy they could bring. While some enjoyed the shows put on to hold the truce, others did not. The people of Phillip’s kingdom mocked at the Circus people, even beautiful Anne. The show the Circus put on soon became the talk of Phillip’s kingdom. So one day, Phillip cloaked himself and decided to go see the show. He got lost trying to find the show and ended up knocking into King Barnum! King Barnum saw that Phillip was rich, but did not recognize him as the prince.” Caroline gave herself a mental pat on the back for that word. “So King Barnum gave Phillip the best seat in the house. Phillip fell in love with the show, and Anne, at first sight. They were so free and full of life. It was something Phillip never seen before and he wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to be with Anne. So he told King Barnum that he was a palace worker, interested in helping the truce.”

“You could say that.” Caroline heard her dad mumble. She glanced at Phillip to see him glare at him lightly. Caroline cleared her throat.

“As I was saying, King Barnum hired Phillip, hoping that Phillip could get them closer to the other kingdom. Well Phillip hid his time with the Circus from his parents, but when there was a ball to be had to encourage Phillip to get a bride, Phillip used his title to sneak the Circus in the ball. The Circus was excited but nervous, especially Anne, since she fell in love with Phillip too and was hoping to go with him to the ball in a nice dress and dance with him all night. So with the help of her friend Lettie the singing butterfly, Anne became the most beautiful person of the ball, but it was there that the Circus found out about Phillip being prince, and his parents saw how Phillip gazed at Anne. Phillip and Anne tried ignored the stares, and dance. It was beautiful and full of life, but it was not right of a perfect prince to talk to the not perfect Circus people. This angered Phillip’s parents and they approached Phillip. They called Anne a cinder wench and tried driving the Circus people away roughly. Well, the Circus people fought for Anne. From the fight, a fire started. It ate the whole palace and drove everyone out. Once outside, Phillip made sure everyone was out but he did not see Anne. He ran back into the fire, no one could stop him. Both kingdoms were in awe at Phillip’s bravery. But Anne, being a fairy flew out the back. Now Phillip was stuck in the fire. The fire was a monster and no one from Phillip’s kingdom wanted to risk their perfection for their prince. But the Circus did. King Barnum himself, with his power of luck went into the fire. He came out with Phillip. The Perfect Prince Phillip came out covered in ash with burns on his back. He was not perfect anymore. After Phillip was taken care of, his kingdom could see that he was not like them. He was called the Cinder Prince and since he could not be the perfect prince his parents cast him out of the kingdom. This sadden Phillip because he thought the Circus would be mad about his lies and he was not perfect enough for his own kingdom. But Anne and the Circus truly loved Phillip. They forgave him and took him back. He was able to dance, have fun, and be unperfect, because he was unique. And at the midnight hour, the Cinder Prince Phillip and Anne were free to dance and love. So everyone lived an unperfect but happily ever after. The end.” Caroline finished with a yawn.

“My story is better.” Helen mumbled. Caroline shrugged too tired to argue. She looked to Phillip. His eyes were weary and watery, but there was a smile on his face.

“What did you think Phillip?” Caroline pushed herself to hear Phillip’s answer. Phillip took a deep breath, and beamed at Caroline and Helen. They were filled with the usual warmth when he smiled.

“I loved them both so much! Thank you guys.” He hugged them tighter, and they snuggled into him. “But you guys look tired and should go to your room.” They shook their heads.

“No.” Helen moaned against Phillip’s side. They were too sleepily to move. 

“But-”

“It’s fine Phillip.” They were glad for their mother’s soft voice. “Let them sleep. You should sleep too unless you want to talk.” Caroline knew that if she were awake she would know what her parents were talking about, but she was tired and Phillip had smiled at her, so her job was done. Helen was just too tired to care. 

“I, I’m fine, Charity.” Phillip whispered. “Just fine.” The girls thought Phillip almost choked on that second whisper, but their eyes were already closed. When their parents began to sing and Phillip’s breathing slowed, the girls drifted off to sleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes and the time long between updates!


	11. Free to Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER!

**Anne’s POV**

Anne paced in the room across from Phillip’s room. It was the girls’ room but Anne needed to borrow it for a few minutes.

She was never a noisy person, didn’t like the gossip those people started and how they took every opportunity to eavesdrop on private conversations. Yet, here she was, freaking out about the conversation she heard. In fact, the conversation was a few days ago. But every time she looked at Phillip, all she saw was the tearstained face of the man she cared about as he admitted his insecurities to her mother. She tried to keep up their normality but something felt off between them now. She knew her mother noticed it and tried to talk to her about it, but it was weird talking to her mother about Phillip.

Anne shook her head trying to focus on her current situation.It all started when the girls asked Phillip to retell the stories her mother told them. P.T., Charity, the girls, her mother, W.D., and Lettie who came for a visit, were in the room, eager to hear Phillip’s side of his wild antics. Since he was finally starting to look and sound like himself, Phillip begrudgingly told them. After awhile, he got into the storytelling. He had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand and all eyes were on him, especially Anne’s. When it came to the end, he skipped the punishments, his eyes darkening. The overwhelming emotions from when she first overheard his conversation with her mother came back, and this time she didn’t have time to go practice all the emotions out. She just went into the other room, not saying a word to anyone, but Phillip just had to give her that kicked puppy dog look when she left. Anne let out a yell of frustration. The door opened and Anne turned to see her mother staring at her in concern.

“Annelise.” Anne didn’t hold in her groan at her mother’s tone.

“Momma, not now please.” Anne begged. She still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with Phillip. Her mother would make her face the decision. By the way her arms were crossed, that was the only option.

“I don’t see any other time better.” Her mother challenged.

“Fine.” Anne huffed. “What do you want to tell me?” Anne looked away from her mother, afraid of what she would see.

“You heard us.” It wasn’t a question but Anne still nodded in response. Her mother gave a hefty sigh. “A messy swarm of emotions are swirlin’ around in your heart and head.” Another accurate statement Anne noticed. She glanced to see the same pensive frown that had been gracing her own features these past few days.

“I take it that he’s always doin’ that to people?” Anne almost let out a laugh at her mother’s undignified snort.

“It seems that the more you care about him, the more reckless and foolish he becomes. Then he says it’s because he cares.” This time Anne did let out a laugh.

“That’s exactly what he does!” Anne laughed, thinking about how when they had their first kiss Phillip didn’t stop smiling like a fool for days. He would unabashedly tell anyone and everyone that would listen how amazing the kiss was. She had asked him to stop, but he simply stated that the world should know that he enjoyed kissing her and only her. It made the warmth and the want in her chest grow.

“You know how to pick ‘em, Annelise dear.” Anne blushed and focused back onto her mother. Her mother wasn’t looking at her with disdain or hate like some other people. Nor was she looking at her with worry like W.D. did whenever she talked to him about Phillip. Her mother’s eyes were full of understanding and sympathy, like Lettie’s but experience had weathered them. It calmed Anne’s automatic defensive response.

“Sort of wasn’t my choice.” Anne shrugged. She remembered the first time she saw him. The blue that encompassed her whole world. How amongst the sea of faces she saw when she performed, her body and soul craved to see that blue once more. Then she met him again, saw the pure adoration, like she saw in children, light those blue eyes of his. She wondered if it would stay if she challenged him. It stayed, and grew into something that lit everything within him. “You know, I tried not carin’, but every time I saw him, he looked like a puppy. How does a grown man look like a dog?” Anne let out a sigh in frustration.

“It‘s part of his charm.” Anne said the same time her mother did. They ended up laughing, wholeheartedly. This wasn’t a ‘it’s so funny laugh,’ it’s the laugh that makes people feel connected. The laughter that reminded Anne, that no matter what or who, Sue was still _her_ mother. Their laughter died down and Sue went to hug Anne.

“I know he’s a reckless, stubborn, fool that would rather fall on his head then ask for help.” Anne snorted in agreement with her mother. Despite what he said about asking her for help when he had the burns, they had a similar fight. He would try things by himself without waiting for her or anyone else’s help. That fight ended with her storming out so she could calm down. When she came back, Phillip was in tears and now she understood the complete terror in his eyes. Afterwards, he would grimace, but always ask for help. “But you love him.” Anne’s breath caught in her chest. She never said it, she was scared to even think it, but her mother hit the nail on the head. She loved Phillip. She loved his smile,  she loved his sincerity, she loved how he watched her, she loved how he didn’t let the hate of the world make him cruel, she loved how strong he was to fight his desire for alcohol everyday, she even loved how stubbornly independent he was. Anne Wheeler was in love with Phillip Carlyle.

“And because you love him, you need to talk to him for your sake.” Anne pulled away from her mother to look at her in confusion. Her mother smiled down at her softly. “Honey, lovin’ someone means goin’ through what they go through but havin’ emotions of your own. So you need to deal with those emotions. Don’t let that fool drag you through his mess without givin’ him a piece of your mind.” Anne felt the spark of confidence light up within her.

“You’re right momma. He’s gonna fix the mess he made in my head.” Anne hugged her mother again, feeling her chuckle.

“He better.” Her mother kissed her forehead and Anne relaxed in her mother’s hold. Then the door opened. Anne turned her head to see W.D. come in.

“You guys okay?” Anne almost rolled her eyes. That seemed to always be the thing he said every time he saw them or their mother. Anne felt her mother’s eye roll.

“We’re fine Wilbur. Now come join this hug.” W.D. came and wrapped his arms around them. Anne still needed to talk to Phillip but she was calm, for now.

* * *

**Phillip's POV**

“What?” Phillip gaped at Anne’s disappearing form. He started to follow her, making it to a standing position before W.D. and Sue stopped him.

“I’ll talk to her.” Sue said before giving a stern look to W.D. Then she was gone as fast as Anne.

“They’re really alike.” Helen stated simply. Phillip nodded while the others laughed. Ever since he fully woke up, he had been getting better. He was even able to watch and play with the girls. Although they and Sue were the only people he felt comfortable with. His relationship with everyone else felt off, especially Anne. It was as if he had a monkey on his back, or scars and old bruises, or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t have a last name. He hated it but he didn’t want to talk about it either. Sue said he should, even Charity tried to get him to open up but there was no alcohol. Which was the only way he would ever admit to the monkeys on his back.

“Girls, why don’t you play in another room?” At Phineas’ stern suggestion Phillip knew the monkey was going to be addressed. Or maybe it was the hard glance that Phineas gave Phillip. The girls saw the glance and didn’t even question the subtle order.

“Bye Pip.” Helen said giving him a tight hug. She loved his nickname and Phillip would be a liar if he said he didn’t love it too.

“We’ll see you tonight?” Caroline asked shyly, biting her lip. He had recently started reading to them like he did before he got sick. He knew Caroline was a romantic and would love _Great Expectations._ Phillip ruffled her hair and she protested lightly.

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Caroline beamed and hugged him tightly. Phillip always wanted siblings and the Barnum girls were better than any he imagined. “In fact,” Phillip tried following them out, but Phineas stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“Not you.” Phillip groaned as he flopped back to the bed. The girls scurried out of the room. Now Phillip was in a room surrounded by Phineas, Charity, Lettie, and W.D. but there was no alcohol. Phillip sighed as he sat up.

“If we’re gonna do this then we need some-”

“Are you crazy Carlyle? Or do I just say Phillip?” Phillip barely finished his question before Lettie just charged forward. Phillip wasn’t prepared to even hear his last name. Everyone had been avoiding it or subtly egging him on to talk. Now, it was unexpected and he couldn’t stop the flinch.

“Or we can do it head-on.” Phillip mumbled, looking at the ground and wiping his face.

“Phillip,” Charity’s soft call was impossible to ignore so Phillip looked to her. “We want to hear your side of the story first. Can you please tell us that at least?” Phillip knew it wasn’t an order or a command but something in him feared not doing it.

“Which one? Apparently you heard a lot of them.” Phillip chuckled dryly, keeping his composure and letting his simmering anger show a bit.

“Maybe if you talked to us more that wouldn’t have happened.” W.D. retorted back, and Phillip shrunk away in guilt.

“Why don’t you start with this?”  Phineas said handing him the letter and the eviction notice. Phillip let out a breath of relief. He could deal with this, he planned for it. Phillip just stared at the letter so he could stay on track.

“My parents disowned me. They took my money from the bank. Well, the bank they knew of. I had enough precaution to set the Circus investments and some extra money aside in a different bank that they didn’t know about. Unfortunately, they took the rent to my apartment. With most of my assets and connections gone, I had to use the extra money to help the Circus. Winter can be a killer on any business, especially ours. So I decided that it was wiser to live in the office. I was practically living in it before the disownment anyway. It was a simple transition and no one needed to worry about the Circus’ financials.” Phillip finished and mentally gave himself a pat on the back for not breaking down into sobbing apologies.

“Because we’re so worried about the Circus’ financials.” Lettie repeated sarcastically. Phillip held in his flinch this time.

“I am Lettie.” Phillip sucked in a breath and couldn’t stop himself from looking up at Phineas when he spoke. Phillip knew this was coming. Phineas looked back to Phillip. “You should’ve told me this.” Phillip couldn’t help himself when he stood up.

“I know! I know I should have told you, but despite my lack of funds I can still be a great partner. I know how to make connections and me living in the office enables me to still support the Circus like I use to. There will be no change in financials despite my drastic social status change.” Phillip said quickly, his hands moving to his words, a nervous tick he knew he had without alcohol. He really needed it right now. Phineas was staring at him with wide eyes.

“You should have told me this because we are partners.” Phineas reprimanded and Phillip froze. “If my partner is facing financial trouble I would like to know.”

“But it didn’t affect the Circus-”

“Nobody cares about the silly Circus financials, Phillip! God!” Lettie groaned loudly. Phillip looked to her when Phineas didn’t interrupt her. “We care that you live in a room for a home! We care that you didn’t tell us that you needed help, or that you were sick, or even that you are probably as messed up as the rest of us! We care about you, you thick headed pretty boy!” Letie gestured to all of Phillip. W.D. nodded behind her. Phillip sucked in another breath, trying to capture the air that left him.

“We thought you didn’t care about us when we found out.” W.D. said. It felt like a knife hit Phillip’s heart, driving him to take a step back.

“I-I, of course I care.” Phillip stuttered softly.

“Then why didn’t you tell us anything?” Phineas asked, his eyes boring into Phillip’s for an answer. This was not what Phillip planned. This was not how it was supposed to go, it was going into deep uncharted territory. With everyone’s eyes on him, demanding an answer but Phillip didn’t know what they wanted to hear. He had no lines in his head.

“Phillip.” Charity’s soft call pushed him over the edge.

“You said I didn’t understand you.” Phillip said gesturing to Lettie frantically but Phillip wasn’t focused on her. He looked back to the ground quickly, trying to sort his thoughts. “And I don’t. I _was_ just some rich white boy that could support the circus he ran away with, a fake freak. I didn’t want you to replace me. So I didn’t tell you. But don’t think because I didn’t tell you, I didn’t care. The Circus and you all, are the only things that keep me from drowning myself in whiskey. You all, are all I have.” Phillip grounded out, the emotion bubbling in him was new and it was making his voice watery. A hand grabbed his. Phillip looked to see Charity holding his hand tightly.

“Phillip, family can never be replaced.” Charity said strongly. “Never let fear keep you from us.” Phillip heard the order in her voice and intended to keep it. He nodded slowly. She pulled him into a hug and he staggered a bit. He hugged her back, slowly. His mother hugged him, once in awhile, but somehow Charity’s hug felt different then his mother’s. They felt more like Sue’s hugs, warm and inviting. Charity pulled back when Phineas tapped her shoulder. Phillip stared at Phineas, his hands clenching. He honestly didn’t know what to expect. He knew Phineas was nothing like his father, but that fear still rang in the back of his mind. So when Phineas clapped a hand on his shoulder, he winced. Phineas’ demeanor softened.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop doing things that worry us?” Phillip tried to speak but the confusion, and fear, kept his voice back. Phineas didn’t seem to expect an answer anyway. “Losing your name and home, then scaring us to death about your health again?” Phillip practically froze when Phineas hugged him, a full on hug. “Those are things that makes us worry.” Phillip couldn’t stop the tears from falling. His father never hugged him and Phillip told himself that he was okay with that. It was normal for men not to hug. Yet, here comes Phineas showing Phillip just how wrong his life before the Circus was, once again. The hug ended too soon and Phillip quickly wiped his tears. He saw the worry glances. Phillip cleared his throat and tried regaining his composure.

“Um, he, my father, never did that. Too manly you know.” Phillip shrugged and tried to play it cool.

“Oh, Phillip!” Lettie’s cry was the only warning Phillip had before he was squished into a hug. “You are the Circus’ pretty puppy! If you needed a hug or attention you should’ve told us!” Phillip barely heard her as he struggled to breath. He tapped her arm.

“Can I breathe first Lettie?” Phillip wheezed out.

“Oh!” Lettie let him go and Phillip gasped for breath. “Stop being so dramatic. Why are you ring leaders so dramatic?”

“I’m not dramatic!” Phillip and Phineas cried out. Lettie glanced at Charity knowingly, and Charity glanced back with a smile.

“Charity?” Phineas looked to Charity and Charity raised an eyebrow at Phineas.

“Darling, you started your own show.” Charity stated.

“Well, I can’t argue with that.” Phineas smirked before he gave Charity a peck on the cheek.

“And you shouldn’t argue either, Phillip.” Phillip leaned to the side, to see Anne leaning against the doorway, a smile on her lips.

“Anne.” Phillip felt himself relax. “You’re here.” Phillip saw Anne’s smile falter at that saying. Phillip internally cursed himself. It was just his automatic response. He knew Anne was prepared for him to leave. He wondered if she knew how much he feared that she would.

“Hey.” She said, as she started playing with the frayed ends of her shawl and avoiding his eyes.

“I think lunch is ready, right dear?” Phineas said quickly.

“I think so love. Let’s go everyone.” At Charity’s order it seemed like the room magically cleared. It was just him, W.D., and Anne left. W.D. came towards him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t be an idiot, Phillip.” Phillip’s throat closed a bit when W.D. said his name, but it was from surprise. He could hear care in W.D.’s voice. Phillip nodded and W.D. left with a friendly pat. Anne still stood by the door and he stood by the bed.

“Wanna sit?” Anne gestured towards the bed. Phillip nodded and sat down. Anne came over and sat down next to him. Phillip looked at her. Her hair was half up, the rest down. Her practice hair-do.

“Are you going to practice?” Phillip asked, attempting to start conversation and delay the real one.

“Huh?” Anne looked at him eyebrows adorably furrowed in confusion. Phillip gave a little smile and pointed to her hair.

“You wear your hair like that when you practice.” Phillip couldn’t resist the need to touch her hair, and put a loose strand behind her ear. “It’s beautiful.” He whispered. He ran a hand through her hair, and when he came to the ends he leaned in to kiss it on the ends. He felt her inhale. Phillip looked to hair, and realized they were close, a breath’s distance close. He could count the golden flecks in her dark eyes, admire how her lips quivered when she was hiding a smile, he could love her and kiss her. Unless she put her fingers to his lips, like she was doing now.

“We need to talk Phillip.” She said breathlessly, but her eyes were lit with determination. Phillip sighed and flopped back on the bed.

“If it’s about what happened with my parents Anne, I’m fine. I just didn’t want you to worry.” Phillip fisted the sheet in his hands and avoided looking at her. He knew she at least deserved a full answer, but he couldn’t give it to her confidently when looking at her. “I was scared that you wouldn’t want a broke man that didn’t even have a last name.” Phillip voice wavered at the end and tears began pooling in the corner of his eyes. He felt her hand caress his face, guiding him to look at her.

“I know.” She said with a soft smile. “But I wanted to talk about what happened at the bar.” Phillip shoot up to a sitting position. He immediately opened his mouth to apologize, but Anne seemed to expect it and put her finger over his mouth again. “Let me say somethin’ before sorry becomes your only word.” Anne took a deep breath. “I told you how a few years ago, W.D. and I were learnin trapeze with this french lady. Well, in the class, there was this boy, Eric Gills,” Phillip saw Anne’s hands began to tremble. Phillip stretched out his pinky and touched her hand. She grabbed it and let out a little breath, closing her eyes. “Eric Gills was a white boy and came from a rich family.” Phillip tensed, absolutely frozen by the statement, seeing where it was going. Luckily for him, Anne didn’t notice. “He, looked at girls a lot, but he liked to look, and touch me.” Anne began trembling, and Phillip unfroze. He squeezed her hand, and she looked at him. Phillip’s breathe caught at the sight of Anne’s watery eyes.

“Anne, you don’t have to,” Phillip tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat. They talked about their pasts here and there, but he could always see how hard it was for her. Her lips quivered and her body trembled. It broke his heart, especially since he was too scared to do the same thing. Anne’s shaking head brought him out of his head.

“I do.” Anne stated fiercely. “I do.” Anne grabbed his hands with her own and looked down at them. “You need to know why my, pride, is important to me. I never said anythin about Eric. I just let him touch me and look at me, till he got me alone.” Phillip tensed, trying to resist the urge to squirm. “He held me tight, and I tried fightin, that’s when he told me to open my legs.” Anne was looking away from Phillip, but he still saw the tears falling from her eyes. Phillip was never a violent man. Yes he did get into a lot of fights, but he never threw the first physical punch. Despite this, a deep desire boiled within Phillip to kill Eric Gills. “He told me that no matter how good I got, people would only see a pretty nigger. That I would only be good for openin my legs.” Anne choked out. He gently pulled her in, and she resisted, pushing his hands away, but he still persisted. She ended up wrapping her arms around him, clinging to him. Phillip stroked her hair. “I was weak.” She sobbed into his neck. “So I promised to never be weak, to never be chained, to never let someone see that I was only good for, for somethin like that! Cause I’m not, I’m not!” Anne sobbed harder, her hands making painful fistsfuls of his shirt. She kept shaking her head, mutterings of how she was more than what others thought, leaving her lips. Phillip let her cry, not minding to stay silent, but then words came to him.

“Anne, Anne.” Phillip whispered gently, brushing back the hairs that fell from her bun. The mutterings stopped. “The only person in my arms is a strong, beautiful, graceful, brave woman with a streak of what some would say stubbornness.” Phillip felt the small smile that graced her features. “But I say that is her passion and determination. I see you Anne.” Phillip leaned his forehead onto hers. He breathed her scent in. The long time away from Anne, the growing distance between him and her finally, hit Phillip. Ever since the day he got that stupid letter, he started pushing her away. It worsened after the bar incident and she pushed back. It created a chasm between them. Yet now, the chasm in his heart that he settled with whiskey, was finally gone, simply by her smell. “And I regret every moment that I let someone degrade you by their looks, words, or acts.” Phillip gulped down the words including me. Although Anne’s little sigh told him that she heard it. She moved away to look at him.

“Phillip, I know why you didn’t say or do anythin’ at the bar.” Phillip glanced to her. She wiped her eyes. “Mat told us that he would’ve thrown us out if a fight started. And I know W.D. He’s always ready to start a riot for me.” Anne huffed but Phillip chuckled.

“He treasures you, a lot.” Phillip offered. Anne smiled and hummed in agreement. “So do I.” Phillip started fidgeting. His mouth was moving faster than his head. “I treasure you, Anne. I love you.” He felt her go still. He looked to see shock and dare he say happiness in her eyes. Phillip took her hand in his. “I grew up in a house where those words were replaced with status. I don’t even remember the last time I heard that from someone.” The sadness yet understanding in her eyes made his heart swell. They both lived in a cruel world, despite how one side looked, the cruelty was still there. “And I always only looked out for me. Took care of things on my own because that’s what men did. So I am not great at showing it all the time or asking for help. But please never doubt how much I love you.” He stated sincerely, surely, passionately. He began caressing her cheek. “Your past, no matter how dark.” Phillip leaned in. “Your hair, on its wildest days.” He took a loose strand of her hair and kissed it. His lips grazing her ear. She let out a little gasp. “Your skin, color and all.”  He kissed her heated cheek. “Your eyes, that are the center of my being.” She closed her red rimmed eyes, letting Phillip kiss the top of each eye. “Your amazingly perfect features.” She chuckled as he kissed her nose.

“Are you just gonna keep talkin, or are you gonna get to the best part about me?” She teased, her eyes still closed.

“I’m trying to be romantic.” Phillip chuckled.

“Well, hurry it up then!” She chided as she hit his shoulder lightly. Phillip let out a laugh.

“As you wish.” Phillip leaned back in. “I love your kissable lips.” Phillip put his lips to Anne’s. The kiss was slow, deep, and a reminder of how incomplete he was without her. He craved her, needed her. She was his heart, his world, and he pushed her away in fear. He opened his mouth, needing more of her. She opened her mouth, letting him in. So when she fisted his shirt in her hands and pulled, he followed. She overwhelmed him, consumed him, and he let her. He tasted her skin, smelled her cocoa butter lotion, felt the fire from her touch as her fingers found their way under his shirt, heard the small moan of his name as he nibbled her earlobe, and watched her dark eyes close as her breath hitched when he touched the toned underside of her thigh.

“Oh my Lord!” Phillip and Anne froze at the feminine voices. Phillip looked up to see Sue and Charity gaping at them, their eyes wide. That was when he realized the exact position Anne and he were in. Somehow, he was kneeling on the bed but Anne had her legs wrapped around his waist, his right hand on her thigh, the other was lost in her hair. Her hands were on his belt buckle, his shirt undone.

“Good thing we came in.” Sue said with a smirk.

“Mother.” Anne hissed. Phillip’s cheeks heated and his pants that had been tighter, now felt normal again.

“There is no need to get embarrassed.” Charity’s gentle tone only succeeded in making Phillip sink deeper into embarrassment. “We just wanted to tell you two to come down for lunch.”

“We,” Phillip cleared his husky voice. He avoided everyone’s eyes. “We’ll be there.”

“Now.” Sue ordered.

“Mom!” Anne groaned as her hands covered her face. That was the only change from their previous position.

“We’ll see you two downstairs.” Charity said, leading Sue out. Anne and Phillip let out a sigh, with Anne unhooking her legs from his waist. Phillip looked at Anne sheepishly and Anne stared back, mortified.

“Soon!” Sue yelled from the stairs. Anne covered her face again and groaned. Phillip felt her mortification, but instead of groaning, he started laughing. He rolled to lay on Anne’s right, still laughing. He felt her wide-eyed stare on him till her laughter joined his. The laughter died down to a comfortable silence. They gazed at each other, smiling.

“I love you.” Phillip sighed. Anne blushed as she lightly tugged a strand of his recently tousled hair.

“If you keep talkin sweet, we might end up like we did before.” She said coyly. Phillip chuckled.

“That’s not my intention.” He said as he took her hand. “I,” Phillip sighed, preparing himself. “The nights my father, punished me, he would leave me be. Not another word said between us. So I promised myself that if I ever found someone I loved, I would let them know. That they would never doubt my love for them. Every single time it hit me. But I never really knew what love was.” Phillip looked at her. “Then I met you, and every time I see you, even after we fight, that love hits me. So don’t worry about saying it back. I just want you to know that you are loved.” He kissed her cheek. Anne let out a shaky breath.

“I should go.” She said hoarsely. She cleared her throat. “I ain’t gonna hear the end of it if they don’t see at least one of us.” Anne stood up from the bed and quickly composed herself. Phillip slowly followed her lead. He stopped to look at his fully unbuttoned shirt.

“How did you do that?” Phillip marveled. He looked up at Anne’s chuckle. She leaned against the door. The only sign of their scandalous position was her swollen lips.

“Talent.” She shrugged. Phillip shook his head. He started to button his shirt up when Anne called him. Phillip looked up. “I love you.” Anne mouthed, then she was gone in a flash. Phillip blinked, then he blinked again.

“She said she loves me. She said she loves me!” Phillip scrambled off the bed. “Anne! Anne!” Phillip ran out of the room, struggling to fix his clothes at the same time. He tripped down the last few stairs in his frenzy. Everyone’s laugh echoed in the main house.

“What are you doing Phillip?” Phillip looked up to see a chuckling Phineas staring at him, a hand held out. Charity quickly came next to Phineas.

“Are you alright?” Phillip looked around. Lettie, Helen, and Caroline, his sisters, were holding in their laughter. W.D., his friend, stood next to Sue, whispering to her with a smirk on his lips. Sue gazed at him with amusement shining in her eyes like they did in better times when he was younger. Anne came out of the kitchen, two plates in her hand, and a beaming smile on her lips. Phillip let out another joyous laugh.

“I’m good.” Phillip took Phineas’ hand and pulled himself up. “I’m good.” Phillip admitted truthfully. He still had no name or money, but he had family and friends. More importantly, he wasn’t just looking at the other side, nor was he a spectator. He was apart of it. He was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! And for those who stuck it out, even past my horribly long last few updates, extreme thank you to you guys! I hope you all enjoyed this last chapter. It's not a cutely tied up ending, but in life sometimes problems aren't neat, but the most important thing is the people that go through our problems with us. Anyway, thank you guys! Sorry for any mistakes.


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